3 Ways to Get the Most Out of the Route to SuccessWe are all so goal-driven, aren’t we? In the beginning, adrenaline kicks in and the grind begins. Focusing solely on the goal, the tenacity is at its peak, guiding through the way. Realistically, sometimes achieving goals may take a little longer than expected, causing discipline to wane and tenacity to decrease. No one thinks about how much “getting there” can weigh one down. The usual advice to keep going despite can grow tiresome. Yes, motivation is needed, however, what is left to do when the road to success gets too rocky? With a change in how the journey is interpreted, the road to goals won’t have to be so mentally muddy. What is often forgotten during the fight is that many rewards are given along the way, not just at the end. How do we switch that mindset and get the fight in us back? One great way is to narrow in on the journey in itself. There are always steps and/or levels to master when working towards a goal. Focus on and appreciate those steps. Here are three ways to help shift the mindset from driving fast toward an accomplishment to understanding, enjoying, and learning during the route to success. “Grab hold to the experience of it all to light your path.” 1. Ask: What do I want to experience? Nothing happens by accident, whether it's an observation or an encounter, things find us on our path for a purpose. By fully diving into the experience, small wins are much more satisfactory. Identifying what you want to experience can help achieve mini goals and provide the necessary resources/skills for the future. Perhaps you wanted to work with a key player in your field OR find a way to learn from them through panel sessions and workshops. Most entrepreneurs have worked jobs they hated to make ends meet. During that process, many who worked those odd/bad shaped them for their business endeavors. Grab hold to the experience of it all to light your path. 2. Be open to complementary possibilities/ventures. Starting with only one plan is normal. But if you’re feeling a shift, it's okay to explore to see where it leads. A complementary venture may take you from singing to acting or dancing. In building a business you may start with one product and find that you’re good at a service as well which could lead to building an even bigger brand. You never know how things will come full circle if you don’t follow the course. It is very possible to stay focused on a goal while trying something different. Even if it flops, you’ll be able to apply the lesson(s) learned. When deciding on a career, I started out wanting to be a Marketing Executive. I earned the degrees and did the internships, and once I finally got my foot in the door, things shifted. I was introduced to the world of digital marketing and web production. Being open to this change allowed me to learn amazing skills that helped me professionally and within my entrepreneurial activities. Had I not been open, I wouldn’t have been able to be self-sufficient in building/maintaining websites, email campaigns, and other digital logistics that help a business/brand grow. 3. Switch the style up and try again. Every approach you take won’t be the correct one. Which is why we must try again. However, you may want to re-try with a different approach. Setbacks happen, rest up and clear your mind when needed. A new idea may come during the wait. Start from scratch OR write down your approach and find areas where you can tweak the daily activities. Watch documentaries or videos about how others found their way. It won’t be the blueprint but there is much-needed motivation in hearing how someone else tried one, two, seven, or ten times and WON! “While understanding one’s journey, notice the great stories, lessons, and experiences come from within the path, not the destination.” We always see the results of someone’s success. However, they too have had moments of fear and doubt that could have taken them out of the game. While understanding one’s journey, notice that great stories, lessons, and experiences come from within the path, not the destination. It's never easy but very worth it. Stay the course by refocusing your mind and how you view your route to accomplishments. The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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Blog for the book, Wrong Vengeance (The Toxic Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series Without context, "move on" can be bad advice to some. Moving on in the sense of only "jumping back out there" can result in the same heartbreak, if you're still carrying bags of pain. In addition to getting hurt, you can inflict toxic behavior onto a new partner. Before getting into another relationship, it's best to ensure that you're healed OR is in the process of healing. "You don't have to like it, you don't have to hide your feelings about it. But accept it."There still may be moments of sadness and anger. However, making sure your heart is taken care of can prevent you from breaking someone else's. Fully moving on with the implication of healing first can entail: Processing what happened. How many times have we asked ourselves "Did that just happen? No!" Understanding what happened gives a clear view of what to do next and how you can turn it around for the better. Acceptance. This goes along with processing feelings. After you have an understanding of the end, accept it. You don't have to like it, you don't have to hide your feelings about it. But accept it. Not accepting that it's time to let it go can result in delusions creeping in. Delusions can have you running back, chasing after something that has ended, and creating the illusion that the pain isn't that bad. Express your true feelings. It's okay to say how you REALLY feel. You can be sad, confused, mad, or even feel foolish for caring about the wrong person. Express that to release those emotions and get you into the process of healing. Don't lie to yourself. Speak them aloud. Mend your heart. Take care of yourself. Watch motivational videos, talk about it with your friends, etc. If needed there's nothing wrong with accessing your heartbreak with a professional. Find and use the tools/resources available to keep you moving forward healthily. Healing takes time. Don't be so quick to rush back into the dating pool to prove a point or to think that it'll erase how the past relationship made you feel. Learning the lessons. Find out where you went wrong. What did you accept? What did you take for granted? What can you do different if faced with the same issue(s) in the future? If you got played...you got played. It happens. Look at the signs you missed and how you can spot them more clearly in the future. It's all about using the situation to propel you into a better life. Finding ways for the heartbreak to make you better instead of bitter. Over time, the thought of certain causes of the pain won't cut as deep. With that, turn the perspective around. Instead of being angry, be grateful for the memories and the lessons. Being bitter only tears you down. It does NOTHING for the other party. Don't seek revenge (as much as it tempts you) as it only gives temporary relief. And can cause bigger issues down the road. Staying busy. Try a new restaurant, catch a movie, and plan a shopping day for yourself. Be sure to pour into be that love you by catching up with friends and family. You can also release the stress of the breakup with a workout. Find a new hobby. Anything that will keep your mind from staying in the place of heartbreak. Resisting the urge to look back. It's oh-so-tempting to hop online and search for your ex. Why? What gratification are we getting by looking at their lives? There's nothing you can do about them moving on so you watching it won't change the outcome. Falling down the rabbit hole of researching your ex, tortures you. What you discover may inflict more hurt and throw the healing process off course. Even if they reach out, remember the rough times and how hard you fought and still fighting to get over it. And THEN, when you're ready, get back out there! In the book, Wrong Vengeance, Brandy took her past pain into a new relationship. Charles gave her everything she deserved and more. He came with a few flaws but none that she couldn't handle with a little patience and time. Throughout their relationship, Brandy morphed into her past, showing Charles a toxic side that he didn't sign up for. Will their love survive her pain? About Wrong Vengeance He Wanted to Love Her, She Wanted REVENGE! Brandy's life has two sides: 1. Career, confidence, beauty, and brains. 2. Behind closed doors, there's a toxic being slowly draining her spirit. One night of emotional and physical abuse from her broken boyfriend killed her spirit. Although she escaped the bad relationship, a seed of pain was planted deep. Brandy unknowingly transformed into what hurt her. Can true love cure a toxic heart? Moving on with her life, she meets Charles, who is the total opposite of the love she left. However, fearing that her old life would resurface, she sends him on a whirlwind of complications, arguments, and toxic behaviors learned from the past. Charles vows to love Brandy through it all with his actions but, her bad habits can push him away for good. How can one heal from trauma while trying to love again? Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon! BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor, from Wrong Vengeance HERE! The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. My mind was cluttered… Work was NOT working… And the stress was stressed out… Even being at home was frustrating. After a self-assessment, I concluded that I needed MORE than a mental break. I needed a mental vacation. To me, a mental vacation is traveling to a destination of peace. For this type of break, I didn’t require the flashy city and lively nightlife. All I craved was good scenery, snacks, and a quiet place to be still. Thanks to my go-to airline offering direct flights, I ventured to Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. I picked this place because it’s in an area I’ve been to before, however, it was a new place to visit to release. The city receives a good number of tourists, however, it's not as popular as San Juan. This beautiful gem was just what I needed to get my mind back right. Fun Fact: |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!"
- The Blakk Dahlia from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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