 All last week, and even on Super Bowl Sunday, the Tri-State area had to deal with heavy snow. During these times I visit my weather app to check the temperatures in sunny areas…just dreaming. That’s how I weather storms, taking myself out of the current situation and remembering a time when things were peaceful. I think our happy moments aren’t just for that present time, it's to carry with us when storms come. Hold tight to the happy memories; make room for them by leaving behind bad memories, old arguments, and aggravating minutes that ruined your entire day. Stay warm and safe!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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 You have to put yourself on work restriction to replenish! Going and going and going and more going! Does the daily work ever end? NO! But, you have to put it on pause to catch a breather. If you don’t, your body will remind you why rest is needed. I wake up, lay in bed to think about the million things I have to do for the day. Then, OH I’m running late! Shower time, find an outfit. It’s cold out so I need to layer up. Where’s my gloves? Found them. Do I have my keys? Already packed them. Wait…Metro card! Out the door and on to the awesome MTA Subway ride. Fighting for a seat, or even a space, is a tiresome task in itself, but the joys of reaching my destination helps to forget about the commute aggravation.  On the to office to update websites and do a little writing/editing work in between. AND managing the magazine, answering emails. Lunch time, gotta get back on the train to hit an audition. Back to the office to finish the day. Then, evening rush hour. Another fight on the train. Wait, I have to eat. Do I have food at the house? Nope, forgot to go grocery shopping. Stand in a long line with other annoyed 9-5ers with kids running around. Uggh I just want to go home! Time for winding down? Absolutely NOT, gotta hit the computer to finish the tasks set for the day. Of course, here comes a curve ball….This goes on until about 3AM and get a few hours of sleep before its time to wake up and do it all over again. Who can manage a healthy life with all of this?!?! I know I can’t. However, my body stepped in, and took control. Control in the sense of shutting down. Fatigue, headaches, stomach pains, and even a little memory loss. Feeling overwhelmed and tired before I could get out of bed, was the body’s way of saying…Chick, you’ve GOT to slow down and take care of me. I do my Self-Care Sundays…okay I’ll admit I’ve slacked off. All of this to say, when you’re going 500 miles a minute, you can’t make this a daily habit. To remedy the results of burnout, I have to readjust my time management. Along with sneaking in some self-care and yoga/meditation in between to silence my mind. I have many things on my plate (not complaining, I LOVE it), but I am in my 30s, and no normal human can unction like this without properly resting.  Here’s a few ideas to kick-back and relax the mind and body: (Yes, I need to take my own advice. Let’s do this together!) Watch a funny show or movie. Laughter IS the best medicine. It releases the pains of whatever has “grinded your gears”; clearing the mind of bad thoughts. Laughing out loud can help cure any bad day. My shows of choice, Frasier, Schitt’s Creek, Paternity Court (they have hilarious episodes), Golden Girls, and just about any reality show you can find! Rest in Silence. Turn off your TV, phone, computer, and your MIND. Stop thinking so much. I tend to overthink EVERYTHING. Creating outlandish scenarios that never happens all because of past experiences, or just my mind running away from me. Thinking too much causes stress, and doesn’t help when you need to focus on work. Just calm down and into space for a few minutes. Self-Care. Soak your feet in Epsom salt to release the toxins of traveling through the city by foot, or give yourself a much needed facial. Anything that will take care of your body. Pampering yourself is a good key in relaxing. Take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you. Don’t allow others to pressure you to rush. Yes deadlines are important, but some things can wait. Just because the other party is on a quick timeline (or like to appear go be. Honestly, they’re fumbling to get themselves together as well), doesn’t mean you have to run yourself crazy. Set up your calendar to follow-up when its convenient for you. There’s nothing wrong with a few calls going to voicemail. Prioritize what’s important, and what can wait until you’ve had time to clear your mind. Limit your time on “the media”. Whether you know it or not, social media kills your expectations and goals for yourself. By constantly scrolling through other’s success stories or tales of having it all together, you feel the pressure of not working hard enough. I read a good meme once, it said: “Don’t let the internet rush you.” Newsflash, nobody has it all together. So what if they’ve accomplished a goal that you’re working towards. Their shine doesn’t dim your light, nor take away from your final destination. YOU WILL GET THERE ON YOUR TIME! Also, scrolling through timelines, only takes away from your own working hours and relaxation time. Breathe. Take deep breaths in, and slowly exhale. Ask yourself, did you RELAX today?   The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  I want to share a few gifts. Sharing is caring right? Everyone has their own list of “must haves”, new discoveries, and trinkets for sentimental reasons. I’d like to expose a few of mine :). Hopefully these will give you new ideas, inspos, or even a confirmation that there’s another addict in your section ;). Ready? Here goes…  Photo Credit: Chris Bowdrie (STAR45) Anything That Sparkles. I LOVE to shimmer! Who doesn’t. Whether it’s glitter or sequins, I NEED IT!. Clothes, shoes, and accessories with sparkle is automatically on my list (usually ending up in my shopping cart). Any and every occasion requires a hint of shine. A regular day strolling through the city or a night out in Manhattan, looking for Sex and the City vibes. I have my fav pair of sparkle boots. Found them on sale at Forever 21. They were the last pair, just my size and when I took them to the register, they were half off of the sale price! I knew it was meant to be! More sparkles in my collection includes an iridescent sparkle purse I mix with a cute outfit along with my go to black sequin purse I throw on with casual wear OR date night. For New Years 2019 Celebration, I found another gem at Forever 21, these gold sequin pants. (I like to call them my disco pants). Bringing in the New Year with a sassy shine, hitting the town in ATL. Give me sparkle; give me a shine and I know I’m in for a great time!
Faux Fur. Something cute that goes great with my sparkle-fits or a warm greeting to my feet in the mornings as I get out of bed...Faux fur makes the list. I look forward to cold weather as I get to pull out my coats to strut around in the low temperatures of NYC. Cozying up to my stylish faux fur, while hitting the town only adds to the excitement of taking on the night. At home, my faux fur serves me well. Decorating my floors with an accent rug to keep my feet warm, along with adding a little spice to the New York living.
Body Suits. Got body?...Suits I mean. Leaving my legs to put on a show, body suits are a sensual given when wanting to look cute around the house, or add to your fav pants or skirt. Photo shoot time and can’t figure out what to wear, my first “go-to” is a body suit and a pair of thigh high socks, then the “fit” comes together around that. I like a variety of body suits that includes lace, sheer material, patterns, or just a plain cotton solid color to give a pop to a pair of fitted jeans. This gem is a good alternative to wearing shirts that you’d like to tuck in. No worries of it coming un-tucked of spending time in the mirror, tucking and un-tucking for that perfect look. Just put on the go! Being lazy around the house and I wanna feel cute? I go to my stash of body suits to have a Friday night chill time with wine and catching up on my shows. Who says you have to look “bummy” for a solo evening at home!?!
 Chrome Book (Beasley). My old laptop houses all of my creative works, books, other writing work, pictures, and everything else that I need to save for business and personal. With the years of wear and tear, my poor laptop decided to show its age and slowly fall apart. In addition, it's a bit big and too much to carry around with me. As a birthday day gift to myself, I bought an HP Chrome Book. All white, touch screen, with the capabilities to turn into a tablet should I choose to use it that way. This Chrome Book was such a life saver, I decided to name him “Beasely”. (And he’s also my temp boyfriend since we spend a lot of time together). It’s small, convenient and I can do everything on this contraption as I did with my laptop. Now I can grab my “boo” and spend time at a coffee shop, laundry mat, plane ride, or anywhere to create and stay up to date with my projects.  Manhattan Martini. We all have our “regular” drinks when we can’t think of anything else on the menu. Mine is the usual Rum and Coke. However, some nights I want to sip sexy. That’s when the Manhattan Martini comes into play. One of my fav martinis 🍸 the “Manhattan”. Made with whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters. Rye whiskey is my fav with this drink. This special one is from STK Midtown in NYC, “Not Your Daddy’s Manhattan” (George sickle rye, zinfandel port, carpano antics sweet vermouth and bitters.) very tasty and a nice complement to a Sex and the City style dinner with your girl! You’re welcome! 😉.  Lemon Water. To detox the libations, and to cool down, I LOVE making lemon water. It helps me to cut back on sodas and sugary drinks. This refreshing beverage also helps with clearing up your skin, acts as a good source of Vitamin C to protect your immune system, AND it’s a great digestive agent. Quick and easy to make so it is always available to go with a good meal or a parched moment. ;) So there you go, a few of my favorite things. Of course there's more to the list but I won't bore you with my long list of "can't go withouts". Tell me, what are YOUR favorite things and why? Let me know in the comments below!  Updated: December 10, 2020 The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Oh Yea its just me…I’m cool with that. Eating alone is always deemed as a bad thing. “She doesn’t have friends?” “No man to take her out?” Not even. You just need that time alone. And why wait on someone to schedule you in just to get a meal or a nice drink. Many people stay inside day and night just because they don’t have anyone to accompany them. What’s up with that?!?! I LOVE hanging out alone. Yes it’s safer with a friend in the big city but there are ways to have a good day/night without the fear. Stay on guard, trust your instincts, go home at a decent hour...ALONE! And don’t make eye contact with the creeps. Outside of that, you can have a perfectly good time with yourself. I know I do!  Daytime Dates. It’s the weekend baby! Time off from work and sleeping in. But I tend to go stir crazy being confined within the four walls of my apartment. Even during my freelancing days I took a weekday afternoon for an adventure or just some quiet time in public. It’s fun having time to relax at home but I need sun, I need to feel a cool breeze, I need to stretch my legs and most importantly, I need food! I like to take the train and pick a stop. I know I’ll find a good place to eat where I can sit outside or inside of a unique decorative restaurant with perfect strangers ready to strike up an insightful convo. Or just sitting with my own thoughts to jot down in my “notebook”. Or to study my lines. Either way, I’m enjoying time out of the house, just exploring. In New York, no place is the same and as a “newbie” its hard for me to visit the same place multiple times. There’s just too much to choose from.
Although I have my favs, my random adventures help me find new place and new faces. Whether a light lunch or a big meal, I know I’ll have a great dining experience without the awkward silence or the long yammering about nothing. I sit. I watch. I eat. I enjoy! Day time dates with myself entails beautiful scenery, people watching, cute pups searching for that perfect spot to lift its leg, and getting some exercise in for the day. Into the Night. Why wait for someone to make plans? I love taking myself out on the town. It beats sitting around waiting for some magic to happen. I like to go out and create the magic. Plus it’s a good way to find another cool spot to add on the weekend list when friends visit. In New York you HAVE to experience a night on the town. Watching the beautiful buildings illuminate the sky with their lights on the way to a bar/lounge with more chic décor. (It also gives me ideas to spruce up this apartment.) Having a solo dinner date can also introduce you to some interesting people. Interesting in a good way. I’ve met many people for networking or “new friends” purposes. And there’s no pressure like there is on dates. Random stuff with a good story behind. I love to listen to people’s point of views that are unbiased and non-judgmental. Very easy to reveal your dreams to a perfect stranger. They don’t know me, and if I don’t agree with their opinion, out the other ear it goes!
 The Money. Yes NYC is expensive and a good lunch is costly. But that’s what Happy Hour, EventBrite, and the Appetizer menu is for! It doesn’t take a bunch of money to hang. Need ideas to hang? Go to Eventbrite and look up free events in the area. There’s so much going on in this big city: Art Galleries, Speed dating, Dinner Specials, and even a great party or three. Look it up and enjoy your time alone. It’s not a big deal to treat yourself out of the house. No one is judging you. Those are only thoughts running through your head that only deters you from experiencing a great time.
So hold your head up when you tell the hostess “Just One”. You’re about to be in for a treat! Where's Your Fav Solo Date Spot? The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Accomplishment: My first New York Stage Play. I set many goals in moving here. I didn’t want to move to a new place and fall into doing the same things I did back in GA. In moments of trying to elevate yourself, you have to take the opportunities as they come. One opportunity I had my eyes on was hitting the stage in the NYC theater scene. To conquer a stage in the city known for performing arts, Broadway, and theater galore, I needed to challenge myself in this arena to see if I had the chops to do the work and execute successfully.  Submission after submission, audition after audition; I landed a role in the stage play Precious Metals: Beauty in Brokenness. This play centers on women and their stories of overcoming hardships, addiction, and finding the beauty within. All the while creating a sisterhood of support showing that no matter what we go through in life, there’s always someone out there who can relate, understand, and help you heal. The play was written by C.E. Harrison and directed by Tabitha Matthews. The play did its run for the NY Summer Theater Festival at the Hudson Guild Theater.  THE AUDITION. In the beginning, I almost didn’t make it in the cast. Life happened, dealing with my obstacles of the constant adjustment to New York as well as other areas that weren’t going right. I felt down and defeated. But luckily when God has a plan for you, there’s no way to venture away from that plan and purpose. I thought I’d missed the audition deadline and one day an email came in saying that I was able to still submit my video. I took that second chance and worked tirelessly to create the best audition tape to submit. Hours of setting up the camera phone, doing different takes, and trying to remember what I need to say. After packaging up the finished product, I submitted and let it be. That’s one thing I’ve learned in the audition process. Once it’s done, you have to let it go and let it be. About a week or so later, I receive the news that I was cast as the character Winsome in the play. Winsome is a young woman, feeling abandoned and abused by her mother Loretta. But after growing and learning, she realized that she missed out on so much love, fun, and the beauty of life with her mother who died at a very young age.  REHEARSAL TIME! Working full-time, finishing a book, studying lines, rehearsing the lines can be a lot! But I felt that as long as I stayed committed to the process, it would pay off. I needed this exposure to the NYC market. Being that this was something I’ve always wanted to break into, I couldn’t let myself or anybody involved with the production down. Throughout rehearsing, I was able to challenge myself with learning various monologues while placing different emotions, pulling from other emotions, and taking lessons I’ve learned from different acting classes. It was a great process as my cast mates and team were very supportive and fun to “play” with. I was able to build relationships that I feel will last a very long time. Along with building my acting brand with this new credit and the overall acting experience which can/will take me to higher levels.   SHOW TIME! With three shows, I was very nervous about how this was going to play out. Will people understand my character? Will they even like me? Will I remember my lines? EVERYTHING was racing through my mind. For opening night, the crowd really came out to support the show which added to the nerves, along with judges from the festival. There was a time when I had a mini-meltdown backstage as I was the last one to come out. The wait got to me, stepping into the unknown. However, once I stepped out on stage, feeling the energy I knew I was READY! My preparation paid off! After the show, I received so many compliments from strangers giving me kudos on my performance. This was really helpful as my family and friends weren’t able to be there that night. Second show was a breeze, I was able to just let go and have fun. The crowd loved it and it set us up for closing show. For the closing show, I had friends from GA and my NYC friends in the crowd. This was their first time seeing me in this element and I wanted them to be proud of me.
Afterwards, I felt such a relief however it was bittersweet because the journey was complete. We ended on a high note, and I was able to share it with my loved ones.
Being part of Precious Metals only amped me up to do more. Although I’ll miss the dynamics of my first NYC stage fam, I’ll always take the lessons and the joy with me. Now I KNOW I was born to do this. I can officially change the title from “Aspiring Actress” to “Actress”.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!"
- The Blakk Dahlia from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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