3 Ways to Get the Most Out of the Route to Success We are all so goal-driven, aren’t we? In the beginning, adrenaline kicks in and the grind begins. Focusing solely on the goal, the tenacity is at its peak, guiding through the way. Realistically, sometimes achieving goals may take a little longer than expected, causing discipline to wane and tenacity to decrease. No one thinks about how much “getting there” can weigh one down. The usual advice to keep going despite can grow tiresome. Yes, motivation is needed, however, what is left to do when the road to success gets too rocky? With a change in how the journey is interpreted, the road to goals won’t have to be so mentally muddy. What is often forgotten during the fight is that many rewards are given along the way, not just at the end. How do we switch that mindset and get the fight in us back? One great way is to narrow in on the journey in itself. There are always steps and/or levels to master when working towards a goal. Focus on and appreciate those steps. Here are three ways to help shift the mindset from driving fast toward an accomplishment to understanding, enjoying, and learning during the route to success.  “Grab hold to the experience of it all to light your path.” 1. Ask: What do I want to experience? Nothing happens by accident, whether it's an observation or an encounter, things find us on our path for a purpose. By fully diving into the experience, small wins are much more satisfactory. Identifying what you want to experience can help achieve mini goals and provide the necessary resources/skills for the future. Perhaps you wanted to work with a key player in your field OR find a way to learn from them through panel sessions and workshops. Most entrepreneurs have worked jobs they hated to make ends meet. During that process, many who worked those odd/bad shaped them for their business endeavors. Grab hold to the experience of it all to light your path. 2. Be open to complementary possibilities/ventures. Sarting out with only one plan is normal. But if you’re feeling a shift, it's okay to explore to see where it leads. A complementary venture may take you from singing to acting or dancing. In building a business you may start with one product and find that you’re good at a service as well which could lead to building an even bigger brand. You never know how things will come full circle if you don’t follow the course. It is very possible to stay focused on a goal while trying something different. Even if it flops, you’ll be able to apply the lesson(s) learned. When deciding on a career, I started out wanting to be a Marketing Executive. I earned the degrees and did the internships, and once I finally got my foot in the door, things shifted. I was introduced to the world of digital marketing and web production. Being open to this change allowed me to learn amazing skills that helped me professionally and within my entrepreneurial activities. Had I not been open, I wouldn’t have been able to be self-sufficient in building/maintaining websites, email campaigns, and other digital logistics that help a business/brand grow.  3. Switch the style up and try again. Every approach you take won’t be the correct one. Which is why we must try again. However, you may want to re-try with a different approach. Setbacks happen, rest up and clear your mind when needed. A new idea may come during the wait. Start from scratch OR write down your approach and find areas where you can tweak the daily activities. Watch documentaries or videos about how others found their way. It won’t be the blueprint but there is much-needed motivation in hearing how someone else tried one, two, seven, or ten times and WON! “While understanding one’s journey, notice the great stories, lessons, and experiences come from within the path, not the destination.” We always see the results of someone’s success. However, they too have had moments of fear and doubt that could have taken them out of the game. While understanding one’s journey, notice that great stories, lessons, and experiences come from within the path, not the destination. It's never easy but very worth it. Stay the course by refocusing your mind and how you view your route to accomplishments.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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Finding the right time to say "I met someone new." We all have them. We can be them sometimes. The overly excited type who will lead you down a road of dating/relationship possibilities. Meanwhile, all you need to do is just breathe and get to know the potential love interest. Most importantly, many have said that as soon as you brag to your friends, the almost relationship fails. Scenario: An open-hearted woman meets a nice guy on an app. They had great conversations, facetime calls, and texts throughout the day. The beginning stage was so promising that she was ready to tell her friends about this potential mate. Even though she was only about two weeks in. All it took was her mentioning him and the friends took off with it. They gave date night ideas, had her on imaginary baecations, urged her to show them pics of him, and brought him up in casual conversations. One of the friends started planning double dates before she went out on a first date with the guy. They'd ask about him every time they spoke to her; asking questions she could barely answer. Only revealing that she still needed more time to get to know him. However, to her friends, it was as if she were in a monogamous relationship.  She and the guy were almost to the point of meeting up...And then the other shoe dropped. He revealed that he only wanted her for casual hookups although she was upfront about wanting a relationship. She was thrown and couldn't understand how someone could switch up so soon. As she mourned the almost lover, she anticipated embarrassment. The next girl's night would entail explaining how he turned into Mr. Wrong. Which turned into upcoming weeks of asking if they'd talked, bashing him, and re-telling the story from their perspective. When all she wanted to do was forget about his existence. Should she have kept it all to herself?  Your friends can't help themselves. They want to see you happy and in love. Which is a GREAT thing. But too much excitement too soon can lead to huge disappointments. Friends can sometimes lead down a road of fantasizing about dates, future plans, etc. It's hard to pull back once its starts and it can cloud judgment when vetting a potential partner. Spilling the beans on a possible relationship is absolutely normal. Taking your friends along that journey can be helpful to some as they provide advice along the way. If you can handle the questions during and after it's over, then share on. It's hard to forget when you have to retract your feelings and statements about that person being so amazing. It's not a complete heartbreak to heal from, but definitely a big disappointment. The benefit of waiting is that you don't have to worry about explaining and dwelling on it not working out. You can enjoy time with your friends and focus on creating memories with them. The only drawback is that when it's over, there's no one to vent to without having to explain everything from the top.  Ways to Calm it Down: Set the tone. If you show up delusional they'll grab it and run. Be transparent in speaking about what it really is instead of what you hope it'll be. Let them know that you're taking it slow. It's not a big deal just yet. Change the narrative from locked in too soon to dating and staying open.Remind. Reiterate that you're just getting to know each other. Not ready for the major stuff yet. Try bringing up random guys you see and think are attractive to show you're still looking. Change the narrative from locked in too soon to dating and staying open. Scale down the fantasy. Instead of talking about what you want in the long run, talk about what you want for the short term. What do you want to know about them? What do you like about them? What do you want them to know about you? Talk about each step of the way and how it's going for you instead of drawing a dramatic picture of the future. Pause. One of the best options is to wait until you know for sure it is something worth pursuing before starting the "I've been seeing this guy/girl..." conversation. In the VERY beginning stages, we meet the "representative"; it feels promising. Give time for the shade to slowly fall. Be honest. If you don't want to talk about it, let them know. They are your friends and will always understand.  It is okay to be excited about meeting someone new. But don't allow the excitement to overshadow the reality of the situation. The potential can lead you on faster than a partner.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Ways to unwind after a rough travel day. The worst part of a vacation is when it's over and you have to deal with the travel day. Unfortunately, more potential terror is waiting at the airport. Travel days can be exhausting, taking the last little bit of strength left just to get on a plane to go home. Rushing to check out, ride share waits/prices, long lines, security checks, and even trying to find the gate. Imagine having the best island vacation only to have it end by having to sit and wait at the airport OR even worse on the plane. It can make one forget about all the great times in an instant.  Unfortunately, there's no way to escape airport woes (outside of the usual tips of getting there early). We're all human and inconveniences can turn a good mood into a bad one. However, with a little bit of focus, there are tricks to add to the first day home to tap back into that vacation mode. After arriving home, only unpack your essentials. The rest can wait.Here are ways to unwind after a vacation: Exhale on the plane ride home. Finally time to board. Get in touch with the friendly skies by allowing the ride home to be a place for initial relaxation. After fighting through the wait, take a deep breath and start to dial back into the vacation. Watch a good movie or rest as best as you can. There's nothing that can change the terrible terminal experience. Just relax. Hot shower/Hot bath. Cleanse the aggravation from you (along with the airport germs). Not only for sanitary purposes but the steam and hot water will help relax your mind and your body. Rest. Take a nap OR go to bed for the night. There's nothing like reuniting with your own bed (even your comfortable couch) for a restful time. Resting stops the replay of the travel disruptions and clears the mind.  Self-care routine. Incorporate your own self-care routine after returning home. Just like clockwork, end the night with your usual wind down for the day. Add a little extra time than normal to REALLY pamper yourself. Entertainment therapy. Entertainment can be key in taking a mental break from frustrations. Whether it's a comedy or romance, watching a good film can entertain you back to relaxation attained during the vacation. Good meal/favorite snack. The perfect way to settle a bad day is with a favorite meal. Food is healing to many and sometimes the travel day would have been better if you didn't have to be "hangry" during the process. Read a good book. For my book lovers, diving into a chapter or two is a great way to decompress from a rough journey. Travel down the road of a storyteller to release the brain from being upset over the travel day. Don't forget the feeling/memories. Look at the pictures (add your favorite filters) and videos. You can even occupy your time making a reel (because everyone knows creating those is a task in itself). Turn it into a fun activity (with no pressure) that involves good memories. Stay in vacation mode until it's time to tap back into reality.  Regardless of what you choose, pick an activity that takes your mind away from travel day stress. It happens, and it'll probably happen again. I guess it's the price we pay for wanting to see the world. Breathe and let it go. Turn the woes into a funny story.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  My mind was cluttered… Work was NOT working… And the stress was stressed out… Even being at home was frustrating. After a self-assessment, I concluded that I needed MORE than a mental break. I needed a mental vacation. To me, a mental vacation is traveling to a destination of peace. For this type of break, I didn’t require the flashy city and lively nightlife. All I craved was good scenery, snacks, and a quiet place to be still. Thanks to my go-to airline offering direct flights, I ventured to Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. I picked this place because it’s in an area I’ve been to before, however, it was a new place to visit to release. The city receives a good number of tourists, however, it's not as popular as San Juan. This beautiful gem was just what I needed to get my mind back right.  Sunset at Punta Borinquen Beach Fun Fact: |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!"
- The Blakk Dahlia from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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