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Blog for the book, Wrong Vengeance (The Toxic Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series  Without context, "move on" can be bad advice to some. Moving on in the sense of only "jumping back out there" can result in the same heartbreak, if you're still carrying bags of pain. In addition to getting hurt, you can inflict toxic behavior onto a new partner. Before getting into another relationship, it's best to ensure that you're healed OR is in the process of healing. "You don't have to like it, you don't have to hide your feelings about it. But accept it."There still may be moments of sadness and anger. However, making sure your heart is taken care of can prevent you from breaking someone else's. Fully moving on with the implication of healing first can entail: Processing what happened. How many times have we asked ourselves "Did that just happen? No!" Understanding what happened gives a clear view of what to do next and how you can turn it around for the better. Acceptance. This goes along with processing feelings. After you have an understanding of the end, accept it. You don't have to like it, you don't have to hide your feelings about it. But accept it. Not accepting that it's time to let it go can result in delusions creeping in. Delusions can have you running back, chasing after something that has ended, and creating the illusion that the pain isn't that bad. Express your true feelings. It's okay to say how you REALLY feel. You can be sad, confused, mad, or even feel foolish for caring about the wrong person. Express that to release those emotions and get you into the process of healing. Don't lie to yourself. Speak them aloud.  Mend your heart. Take care of yourself. Watch motivational videos, talk about it with your friends, etc. If needed there's nothing wrong with accessing your heartbreak with a professional. Find and use the tools/resources available to keep you moving forward healthily. Healing takes time. Don't be so quick to rush back into the dating pool to prove a point or to think that it'll erase how the past relationship made you feel. Learning the lessons. Find out where you went wrong. What did you accept? What did you take for granted? What can you do different if faced with the same issue(s) in the future? If you got played...you got played. It happens. Look at the signs you missed and how you can spot them more clearly in the future. It's all about using the situation to propel you into a better life. Finding ways for the heartbreak to make you better instead of bitter. Over time, the thought of certain causes of the pain won't cut as deep. With that, turn the perspective around. Instead of being angry, be grateful for the memories and the lessons. Being bitter only tears you down. It does NOTHING for the other party. Don't seek revenge (as much as it tempts you) as it only gives temporary relief. And can cause bigger issues down the road.  Staying busy. Try a new restaurant, catch a movie, and plan a shopping day for yourself. Be sure to pour into be that love you by catching up with friends and family. You can also release the stress of the breakup with a workout. Find a new hobby. Anything that will keep your mind from staying in the place of heartbreak. Resisting the urge to look back. It's oh-so-tempting to hop online and search for your ex. Why? What gratification are we getting by looking at their lives? There's nothing you can do about them moving on so you watching it won't change the outcome. Falling down the rabbit hole of researching your ex, tortures you. What you discover may inflict more hurt and throw the healing process off course. Even if they reach out, remember the rough times and how hard you fought and still fighting to get over it. And THEN, when you're ready, get back out there!  In the book, Wrong Vengeance, Brandy took her past pain into a new relationship. Charles gave her everything she deserved and more. He came with a few flaws but none that she couldn't handle with a little patience and time. Throughout their relationship, Brandy morphed into her past, showing Charles a toxic side that he didn't sign up for. Will their love survive her pain? About Wrong Vengeance He Wanted to Love Her, She Wanted REVENGE! Brandy's life has two sides: 1. Career, confidence, beauty, and brains. 2. Behind closed doors, there's a toxic being slowly draining her spirit. One night of emotional and physical abuse from her broken boyfriend killed her spirit. Although she escaped the bad relationship, a seed of pain was planted deep. Brandy unknowingly transformed into what hurt her. Can true love cure a toxic heart? Moving on with her life, she meets Charles, who is the total opposite of the love she left. However, fearing that her old life would resurface, she sends him on a whirlwind of complications, arguments, and toxic behaviors learned from the past. Charles vows to love Brandy through it all with his actions but, her bad habits can push him away for good. How can one heal from trauma while trying to love again? Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon! BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor, from Wrong Vengeance HERE!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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Romance-suspense author, The Blakk Dahlia, announces the release date for the upcoming book, Replacement, from the series the Heartbreak Diaries.  Romance readers will get a dose of grief with the fifth installment from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. The upcoming book, Replacement, will tap into The Grieving Heart. Learn how a free-spirited woman navigates through heartbreak from a loss. On December 30, 2021, The Blakk Dahlia, will share the latest release continuing the gripping series from the heart’s perspective. The book’s focus is around a young couple, deeply in love. On their way to plan their lives together, until the romance is quickly taken away. The main character, Natalie, relies on the love of her life for balance. However, once it's gone, she has to find a way to move on without the only true love she’s ever known. In one way, some may say she saw it coming through dream-filled premonitions. But we all know signs are often ignored while looking through rose-colored glasses. Natalie does the best she can to move on, however, in her own method of coping she searches for what she lost. This search involves following the exact mold from the old love life. Will it work out to her advantage? “It was hard to complete this book as I wanted to be sensitive to those who were currently dealing with loss and the attempts to pick up the pieces,” says author, The Blakk Dahlia, “However, in moving on in life, it's important to tell the stories that are often judged, lost, and even unspoken. Someone can relate whether from personal experiences or even through having the same thoughts as the characters. Moving on from a loss can be a hard thing and there’s no roadmap. We all just do the best we can.” Grief hits in many ways. Some are in phases while in other cases, there are doses of various emotions. This book will explore a unique way of coping with losing love. “Replacement” will be available in paperback and eBook formats on December 30, 2021, via Amazon, AmazonKindle, NookBook, AppleBooks, Kobo, and MORE! Visit www.TheBlakkDahlia.com for more info.  About Replacement (The Grieving Heart) We All Mourn Differently… Natalie and Adam have genuine love. Dealing with the scrutiny of an interracial relationship, her parents not approving of her career choice, and normal relationship troubles; they survived it all. Until life hits them hard, sending Adam away and Natalie is forced to move on with her life. As she grieves the romance lost, her coping method is to forget it ever happened. But deep down, she throws herself into searching for a man to take his place. Recreating the scenario of how they met with different men didn’t pan out the way she’d hoped. Meeting the final replacement in a hot lawyer, Chris, shows that she never had to do that at all. Just living and moving forward would have given Natalie everything she lost. But life doesn’t go on without trouble. The secrets are brewing, and once found out it changes the trajectory of her future and ruins the love of her past. Will her heart EVER recover?  About the Heartbreak Diaries Series the Heartbreak Diaries is a collection of romance-suspense stories. This series dives deep into the various hearts we love, like, or lust with when approaching dating, relationships, marriage, and even situationships. What’s unique about this series are the "hearts" in each book telling their story from a real and vulnerable place. Each book has a “dear diary” moment from an integral character, displaying their logic and true intentions within the heartbreak.  About The Blakk Dahlia The Blakk Dahlia, (E. Alexcina Brown), is a self-published, romantic-suspense author. The Macon, GA native has created ventures within the entertainment and fashion industries in front of the camera as an internationally published model as well as behind the scenes. As a writer, she has contributed articles and blogs for various industries, including creating and serving as Editor-in-Chief for four years for the digital publication, BRASH! Magazine. Now residing in New York City, The Blakk Dahlia released the fiction book series, the Heartbreak Diaries, delving into the inner thoughts and routes of heartache. She takes you through the process through her stories, documenting the journey of taking risks in life and self-discovery.   Inspired by the book, Devastation or Destiny??? (The Settled Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series  Women are charged to “take whatever they can get” because of the myth that there’s not a lot of good men out there. That myth is FALSE! But what is true is that more than often, the good men aren’t paired with good women. Recipe for disaster in the end. However, not all relationships end because of infidelity and mind games. Some matches aren’t simply compatible with each other, and that’s okay. Whether its lifestyle choices, goals, and different views on how relationships operate, if it won’t fit in the long run, its best to know up front. But…there’s always that question of What if…? “He fits my heart, but doesn’t fit my life…” Scenario: You meet a guy, he says the right things, takes you on the perfect dates, engages in the most substance filled conversations. And on the other hand, he’s not into traveling, a strict homebody, and has traditional views on a woman’s place in the world. Now, if you love this, he’s the guy for you. What if you meet this type of guy and you’re the total opposite? You crave the adventure; you travel a lot for work; and is adapted to a more modernized version of women in the world. How do you continue the relationship without losing yourself? Do you let it go without feeling the pressure of living the rest of your life alone? Is there even room for compromise? A similar scenario was outlined in a few episodes of Girlfriends. Darnell was a good, hard-working man but he was happy where he was. Mya, on the other hand, was introduced to a different type of life which consisted of her going back to school to enhance her career, shopping at more expensive places, and living in another area (just to name a few). Overtime, influenced by her circle, she grew into being the opposite of him. Granted they’d been together since their teenage years. This ultimately resulted in the demise of their marriage. Now, the silver lining was that after a few years, they found their way back to each other.  Image Source: Everett Collection As we all know, life isn’t a sitcom, and these days, when it’s over, it over! Communication extends to adamantly demanding what you want/what you don’t want, forgetting about the potential growth of love, then moving on to the next. Which is not always a bad thing. Verbalizing your wants and needs out of life is a great way to prevent wasting time. However, some may always think about the road not taken. I’ve had this fear of my own. Thinking I’d wake up one day in a great relationship yet unhappy because I’ve compromised way too much of myself to be in love. It appears that certain types of women have to choose between love and lifestyle. Why is that so? Why is it difficult to simply find your equal? Is there an unspoken choice to make between loving yourself and loving another? “Maybe if I stick around, the tradeoff won’t be that bad…” In the book Devastation or Destiny???, Tanya didn’t leave after knowing that Kenneth was a “Traditional Man” while she preferred more adventure in her life. The love was way too great to let go. But was it really love or a sense of a controlling nature to mold her into his perfect idea of a woman? She found herself constantly contemplating and questioning whether or not her decision to live in a place where she didn’t want to call home. Along with him wanting to change her outlook on what married life should look like. All of this eventually resulted in the “Devastation”. The regret, heartbreak, and time invested into the relationship could have been avoided by her not giving in to his “rules”. Though in her eyes, the end of their love would yield greater pain compare to giving up the life she wanted. Over time, some relationships have evolved and both partners were able to grow together. Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world and often adults are stuck in their ways and a few of the aforementioned items are non-negotiable. The great dates, conversations, and time-spent are distant memories and someone is thrown back to the drawing board. No matter the choices made, the great thing about life, it’ll always work out for your benefit. Just keep living and loving yourself unapologetically.  Comment your thoughts below, and find out how “The Settled Heart” heals in the emotional romance story, “Devastation or Destiny???” Available NOW!   The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Walking away because it’s the right thing to do or staying with a forbidden love that feels so right. Blog inspired by the book, The Perfect Sin (The Selfish Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series  When I was young, I learned that forbidden actions yield bad consequences. As I grew older, I found through experience that although doing wrong…is wrong; it could give great pleasure in certain circumstances. Whether or not that pleasure lasted, depended on the situation. But looking back on certain decisions, I can honestly say: “It wasn’t all bad.” When dealing with the matters of the heart, loving someone who may seem like that “wrong person” but right in your heart can result in conflicted feelings.  How can something that feels so good, causes you to hide it from the world? On paper, it's all bad. He can’t be touched, it isn’t right. He belongs to someone else. Why won’t he just leave if he’s unhappy, then focus on building with you? That would be easy, but when you fall fast and hard, it can be impossible to abruptly stop. Then there’s the million-dollar question of, Will he do that to you one day? In your mind, you have all the right answers… …but in your heart, it’s the fire that keeps it pumping. The touch that makes you come alive, and happiness one would never think of gaining. You know it’s real, but you’re afraid to tell anyone because in moral terms it's wrong to be in his company. So, it has to stay in secret. You’re in love and you want to shout it to the world, but there will be loads of backlash and judgment will be ready to come your way. Feeling this way doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but it’ll be hard to shake that reputation with your good acts moving forward. You’re living in it daily; toggling with what’s morally right and wrong. All the while fighting the urge to simply stay away. What kind of love is this? It’s a selfish love with the unintentional pain pushed onto an innocent party. It turns into Love and War. A war that may end in a heart casualty. Knowing that someone is at risk of being alone and heartbroken should be enough to walk away. But why deprive your own heart just to please someone you don’t even know? A few may say the right thing should be done out of respect, besides, because karma knows all of our addresses. But when happiness and real love are involved, those instances are moved further away from your mind; killing the moral fibers. The heart is released and a great love affair commences. You soon give in, understanding that you too, deserve the romantic love.  Is There A Cure? The cure for the entanglement of whether to go with your heart or your mind isn’t always easy. It’s a big risk as in either case, you could end up alone. The karma may come causing a massive heartbreak OR you walk away knowing you’ve done the right thing but spending lonely nights wondering what could have been. Unpopular Opinion These thoughts are honest and vulnerable. As irresponsible as they may sound, people deal with these mental conflicts more often than they’d like to admit. It's best to find a safe space to sort out these feelings and make the best decision for yourself. You don’t want to look back and regret going down an unknown road that leads to pain. How to deal? It's up to you. This is a non-judgment zone.  The Selfish Heart In the book, The Perfect Sin, Jennifer is faced with a conundrum. Meeting the man of her dreams who just happens to be attached. All of the good ones are. However, she finds that the love she has for him is equally reciprocated. Falling in love with an “untouchable” man can be quite costly. And throughout the story, she’s faced with the price and the questions of if it’s worth the “sin”. About The Perfect Sin Jennifer's life was on the brink of gaining full control in all areas until a series of losses, (job, livelihood, love, independence) threw her into a downward spiral. Climbing her way back up, she meets "him". Darren appears to have his eye on career and family only, but Jennifer wants his focus on her. It was innocent in the beginning, but a sinister force draws her to a man that is not available. He doesn't resist, equally giving into the force, slowly pulling them into a love that was not supposed to happen.  Dive into the SIN with the latest release from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. Preview the book The Perfect Sin HERE!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Great things are happening for my writing and the Heartbreak Diaries. Here's a few new updates highlighting me as an author and the series!!   Married to My Writing Podcast Recently, I had the opportunity to talk to the ladies of "Married to My Writing Podcast". This interview focused on my writing inspirations, what keeps me going, and my series the Heartbreak Diaries! About the Episode. Jack of All Trades with Alexcina Brown Alexcina aka The Blakk Dahlia does many things, but one thing that hasn’t taken a back seat is her love of story telling. Despite the number of things she has her hand in, time for writing is always carved out. She shares how relationships turn into books and dreams turn into reality. Listen Now on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Listen Notes | Google Podcasts  Wrong Vengeance Book of the Month, Rookery Book Club GOOD NEWS: My second book “Wrong Vengeance” was chosen for Book of the Month by Rookery Book Club for the month of July! from Rookery Book Club: It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you a personal selection for July’s BOTM: WRONG VENGEANCE by my dear friend, The Blakk Dahlia (@blakkdahliawrites). This is the 2nd entry to the Heartbreak Diaries series. RBC remains committed today and everyday to highlighting the accomplishments of independent writers and bookstores, and the writing community. Now, let’s get into it while the tea is hot 😈 Follow NOW on Instagram @rookerybookclub!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and adventures!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Latest book from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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