 Life’s going well, then all of a sudden…a disruption! An incident, unexpected bill, work stress, or a heartbreak. Anything can come along and throw you off course. I want to encourage you to take a beat and refocus. Refocusing gives room to flush out ill thoughts and anxiety. It also provides an opportunity to properly access the situation and learn from it. Everything in life teaches us a lesson, especially the bad moments. A great way to refocus is to take a step back. Breathe to calm down the mind. You can’t make clear decisions running off of the emotions caused by a rough time. Raging emotions signal the mind to rush into attempting to solve the problem. In most cases, it makes things worse. You don’t have to remain completely still while refocusing. Fill your time with activities that will rejuvenate and release the range of heightened emotions.  What to do while refocusing Self-Care: Of course, this has become one of many new buzzwords, but the need for it remains true. Self-care can be a highly neglected area in our lives as we chase dreams while being in survival mode. However, the refocusing style of self-care involves more than just a trip or a hot bubble bath. Focus on internal needs. What do YOU need to heal from the blow? Take a Mental Break: Don’t think about it. Instead, breathe and heal. What happened or is happening can't be undone. You can’t change it. Having it swirl in your head will only bring you down internally, and it’ll then affect you physically. Why put such a burden on yourself? Make it a point to give yourself at least 24 hours of not thinking of what has thrown you off. Doing so clears your mind of clutter and allows you to approach the situation with the necessary clarity to tackle the problem.  Do an activity that makes you happy: Whether it's listening to music or cooking your favorite meal. Creating a flow of small joyful things boosts your morale and energy. Sulking doesn’t fix anything, but you can help fix your mood by doing things that give you pleasure. It also takes your mind off things that you can’t change. Look towards increasing the happy moments in your days instead of writing it off as having a bad day/life. Remember, the small things make a BIG difference. Workout: Hardcore exercising or yoga stretches takes your mind away into a productive place. When going through a hard time, all you want to do is forget about it. Working out challenges your mind and body pushing you. Forget about the outside factors, others involved, or even the solution. Tap into what you need to move forward. What NOT to do Self-blame: Taking accountability and blaming yourself are on two different spectrums. You can own up to your mistakes or habits that may have led to an obstacle without beating yourself up. React negatively: Sometime when we’re feeling down, we deem it as okay to keep going down the wrong path. But that’s not the case. Every day you wake up is another day to strive in being better at getting it right. Don’t fall victim to the “Well, I’m already down, can’t get worse…” FALSE…it could. No matter what you go through, things could always be worse. Don’t create more obstacles for yourself just because you think you’re down. Reset the tone and get back onto a positive track.  Replay it over and over: You were there. It occurred in your life. No need to re-live it over and over. I remember watching an interview with Tina Turner and the interviewer asked if she would watch her biopic “What’s Love Got to do With It”. She said she hopes she didn’t have to see it because she lived it. Take that approach, you lived it. No need to watch the movie playing in your head. Also, stay away from those who feel the need to bring it up every five seconds and remind you. Think about “shoulda, coulda, woulda”: It happened. You can’t change it. There’s no point in thinking out scenarios where you could have done things differently. Play the cards you’re dealt, even if it’s a bad hand. Things arise in our lives (whether bad or good) for our growth and development. It’s what we do with what happened that matters the most. The past is gone, let it stay there and focus on moving forward.  Things happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. Just know when hard times arise, it's an opportunity to learn and grow for the better. Attacks come when you’re on your way to your best self. It's normal. Refocus, pick yourself back up!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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 Turning the page of a good book. From an author’s perspective. The experience of diving into a good book told from an author's perspective. Learn how a self-published author creates through the view of a book lover. It starts with a concept or a memory. Then a blank page turns into a fictional existence of descriptive inner thoughts and conversations. Even silence on the page speaks through character gestures. The perfect recipe for a mental escape. Leaving the reader ready to turn the page! Nothing around you matters. Just you and the words. This is what being embroiled in a good book does to us.  The plot opens, then thickens. Transporting the reader into a wordy world of romance, suspense, or thriller exuding from the pages. Facial expressions expose shocking thoughts as the story moves from introducing characters to the climax of the story. At the peak, hypothetical endings develop. Sometimes the hypothesis is proven true and sometimes a surprise happens. Either way, the book can’t be put down. I love to feel each emotion of the characters. I look to step out of my world and into theirs. That feeling is what I love about books. Words become their own universe. Each conflict becomes the readers' conflict. Reality is placed on the backburner while intrigued minds dive into scenes feeling the feels of actions and interactions with everything in between. Main characters are supported, and villains are despised. Some may even root for the villain as their complicated layers are revealed, relating to the average person.  I learned this quickly being an avid reader. Upon getting into the book, I re-create the characters in my head, utilizing the physical appearances described on the page. Locations are mentally constructed, sometimes altered if my vision doesn’t completely match right away. It's like watching a sitcom through the mind. After the book is done, I use my mental pictures to reflect on the stories I experienced. They often take me back to the place and time where I discovered the good read. It’s the business of supply and demand. People demand a break from their life and we supply this break through the art of storytelling.  The essence of storytelling through words. As an author, I look to create that same world in my books. I want people to FEEL something and explore different ideas. As a story lover, it's important to create the same space that I love when opening the pages of a good read. Not all may get it, but even just one “I've been there...” or “OMG, I didn’t expect that...”, makes the countless hours of creating worth it! What do you look for when opening the pages of a book? What do you want to feel? What do you want to explore? What are you looking to learn? (Comment Below!) The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. Nothing to give, nothing to say, nothing to create. I’m drained! A friend gave me great advice when things aren’t working out as you want, leave it alone. Don’t bother it, don’t touch it, don’t allow it to fester in your mind and spirit. There’s nothing left to do but allow things to organically come back together. And when the time is right, it does. At times, I find it hard to constantly create ways to simply…create. I can’t concentrate, can’t think, and don’t have the normal drive to sit at the computer. And when I do, the ideas just won’t come. I feel sluggish and tired, only wanting to lay in bed. It’s not that I don’t want to be productive I just can’t get with it. This is what I call burnout. It's more than having “writer’s block”. It’s a mental block, preventing me the ability to function at my full capacity. Time moves on and nothing happens. It becomes comfortable for me to “not do it”. Then it mentally takes a toll as I feel like I’m being lazy. I love to write. I love to create. I want to work. But my mind and body just won’t allow it. When this moment arises, I have no choice but to step back and regain focus on my own time. It can come from lack of sleep due to work and/or piling more on my plate to “keep up”. So, I want to share what I’ve learned during my moments of burning out. Be honest with yourself about what you can/can’t handle. It’s okay! How do you know you’re burnt out? One minute you’re going full force, producing at a fast pace. Then the next…boom, it hits you. Sluggish feelings and frustration set in because you can't produce like you used to. The feelings are hard to control and come out of. You have no choice but to go with the motions of irregular patterns thrown into your regular work routine. Whenever this feeling arises what can you do? First, it's best to identify what it is. Feeling the burnout can come in many forms. It can range from falling behind on personal and professional deadlines to staying in bed longer than the alarm clock(s). It can also show up in the physical form. Headaches, physical pains, tiredness, and even sickness.  Getting hit with these symptoms can make you feel as if you’re inactive. Self-doubt kicks in, bringing you further down into a bad spiral. Instead of piling more work and forcing it, recognize what is happening to you. Understanding that you’re going through the motions of burning out, helps in dealing with it. When to leave things alone. As you deal with the mental and physical changes from being burnt out, you must know when to leave the work alone. Allowing it to just create space to recharge. Taking time away from your project, job, or whatever that’s draining you helps in refocusing your purpose while getting the necessary energy back. What if you’re not able to fully take time away? Peel a few layers off your tasks. Cutting back can be just as effective. Just as long as you’re not trying to operate at full speed while your energy is on empty. When your cell phone or laptop battery is low what do you do? Charge it. You don’t put more work on it or curse it because it's lacking productivity.  What to do in the meantime. While stepping away or cutting back, it's best to fill those spaces with activities to refuel. Remember, taking this time is meant to help YOU. Not to take on a new stressor or do for someone else. This is all about getting your mind and spirit back to a place where you’re operating on 100%. Here are a few examples of what to do:  Get ready for the abundance. Jump back in! After you have taken that necessary time, your mind and body have a way of letting you know that it’s time to jump back in. You can also test the waters if you’re feeling antsy but don’t hesitate to pull back if you’re feeling overwhelmed again. It tends to happen when you least expect it. All of a sudden, you feel better. The headaches are gone, and you feel like a new person. Once the burnout flows away from your recharging, you’ll tend to receive random overflows of ideas and creativity.  You wake up one day on a full battery and you’re ready to go! Burning out is normal. It doesn’t equate to a lack of productivity. You can’t escape it if you’re constantly working hard towards your goals. We’ve all been there. Don’t worry because it's only temporary, as long as you take care of yourself. Sooner than you think, you’ll be able to get back on the saddle operating better than ever!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Seasonal depression, too much on my plate, cold weather, work, and more work, nervous about what was to come. I felt all of that. I looked forward to completing the run for my play (Penny’s Kids) and hopping on a plane to St. Lucia! As time ran down, I felt the stress and anxiety of traveling alone while handling business before I left.  Then, once I stepped off the plane, my heart, mind, and body were in paradise! Ending the month on a great note by visiting a new place really set the tone for finishing the year strong! Upon returning home, I felt rested, happier, and accomplished at trying new things.  So, what did I do while there? Enjoyed the all-inclusive resort, Bel Jou. Beautiful place in Castries, St Lucia with an amazing staff and two pools, and a view to get lost in. Let’s not forget about the food and the nighttime! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were buffet style and the hotel took great measures in keeping everyone safe and sanitized. Fresh tuna, good salads, jerk chicken, omelets, and amazing drinks! I even tried my luck at karaoke which everybody loved! You can do things like that in places where people don’t know you!  Took a boat ride to Sugar beach and tried snorkeling for the first time. The ride there gave an up-close and personal look at the gorgeous deep-blue waters surrounding mountain tops that reached the clouds. I’ve never seen a thing like that before.  Snorkeling time. I’m a fire sign (Sagittarius) and water without a boat isn’t my thing. But I’m happy to have crossed that off my bucket list. I stayed close to the shore and enjoyed the small “fishes” swimming in clusters. I spent a small time there but, it was enough to have an enjoyable experience. (Maybe I’ll try again one day, lol). The boat ride back consisted of rum punch fellowship, dancing, and good music. I had a nice time enjoying the diverse crowd of people from different places taking in the moments along with me.
Spent the day by the pool with endless margaritas and rum punch. Who doesn’t want to leave the cold air of New York and emerge into a place where you can walk around in a bikini all day? The resort provided two pools with bar areas in each section. Soaking up the sun and feeling cool waters was exhilarating. I took a break from hanging out on my room’s balcony and took a few pics. Laid in bed with no worries. On my last day, I wanted to sleep in. I watched the sunrise over my balcony and enjoyed movies.  On the way to the airport, our taxi driver took us on a small tour before leaving Castries. We stopped in a small pub for drinks, and I got to know a beautiful couple from Ireland who spent two weeks there for their honeymoon.
 The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. Romance-suspense author, The Blakk Dahlia, announces the release date for the upcoming book, Replacement, from the series the Heartbreak Diaries.  Romance readers will get a dose of grief with the fifth installment from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. The upcoming book, Replacement, will tap into The Grieving Heart. Learn how a free-spirited woman navigates through heartbreak from a loss. On December 30, 2021, The Blakk Dahlia, will share the latest release continuing the gripping series from the heart’s perspective. The book’s focus is around a young couple, deeply in love. On their way to plan their lives together, until the romance is quickly taken away. The main character, Natalie, relies on the love of her life for balance. However, once it's gone, she has to find a way to move on without the only true love she’s ever known. In one way, some may say she saw it coming through dream-filled premonitions. But we all know signs are often ignored while looking through rose-colored glasses. Natalie does the best she can to move on, however, in her own method of coping she searches for what she lost. This search involves following the exact mold from the old love life. Will it work out to her advantage? “It was hard to complete this book as I wanted to be sensitive to those who were currently dealing with loss and the attempts to pick up the pieces,” says author, The Blakk Dahlia, “However, in moving on in life, it's important to tell the stories that are often judged, lost, and even unspoken. Someone can relate whether from personal experiences or even through having the same thoughts as the characters. Moving on from a loss can be a hard thing and there’s no roadmap. We all just do the best we can.” Grief hits in many ways. Some are in phases while in other cases, there are doses of various emotions. This book will explore a unique way of coping with losing love. “Replacement” will be available in paperback and eBook formats on December 30, 2021, via Amazon, AmazonKindle, NookBook, AppleBooks, Kobo, and MORE! Visit www.TheBlakkDahlia.com for more info.  About Replacement (The Grieving Heart) We All Mourn Differently… Natalie and Adam have genuine love. Dealing with the scrutiny of an interracial relationship, her parents not approving of her career choice, and normal relationship troubles; they survived it all. Until life hits them hard, sending Adam away and Natalie is forced to move on with her life. As she grieves the romance lost, her coping method is to forget it ever happened. But deep down, she throws herself into searching for a man to take his place. Recreating the scenario of how they met with different men didn’t pan out the way she’d hoped. Meeting the final replacement in a hot lawyer, Chris, shows that she never had to do that at all. Just living and moving forward would have given Natalie everything she lost. But life doesn’t go on without trouble. The secrets are brewing, and once found out it changes the trajectory of her future and ruins the love of her past. Will her heart EVER recover?  About the Heartbreak Diaries Series the Heartbreak Diaries is a collection of romance-suspense stories. This series dives deep into the various hearts we love, like, or lust with when approaching dating, relationships, marriage, and even situationships. What’s unique about this series are the "hearts" in each book telling their story from a real and vulnerable place. Each book has a “dear diary” moment from an integral character, displaying their logic and true intentions within the heartbreak.  About The Blakk Dahlia The Blakk Dahlia, (E. Alexcina Brown), is a self-published, romantic-suspense author. The Macon, GA native has created ventures within the entertainment and fashion industries in front of the camera as an internationally published model as well as behind the scenes. As a writer, she has contributed articles and blogs for various industries, including creating and serving as Editor-in-Chief for four years for the digital publication, BRASH! Magazine. Now residing in New York City, The Blakk Dahlia released the fiction book series, the Heartbreak Diaries, delving into the inner thoughts and routes of heartache. She takes you through the process through her stories, documenting the journey of taking risks in life and self-discovery.  |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and adventures!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Latest book from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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