Learning to be more patient with myself.
Getting here I wanted to hit the ground running. Book shoots/gigs for modeling, book auditions, get job interviews lined up, have an apartment ready, and just live like I’ve been here for years. But in changing locations (and costs of living areas), it takes time. I found out the hard way. I did well on the job front as I was able to do a few phone interviews from Georgia, that way once I was permanently in New York, I was already moving forward to the next process. With modeling, I was proactive in applying for various gigs that coincided with my relocation dates, a roof over my head was already in place prior to me leaving so that was done. Good job at me being proactive right?!? Well sort of…
Visiting NYC and actually living here are two different things. It wasn’t as if I was on one of my Fashion Week trips where I could splurge, hangout, and return home to my normal life and job. I had to figure out how I was going to survive. And in that, I had to remind myself “Heffa, you are not on vacation, YOU LIVE HERE!” when I found myself over-indulging.
New York is a constant hustle, which is one of the many reasons for me relocating here. So many opportunities to expand on what you’re already doing, while starting something new. However, if you’re not built for it, you can easily get lost in the shuffle which leaves you with an empty bank account and no direction as to what to do next.
Even with my proactive tasks, I still found myself not gaining the necessities I wanted within MY timeline. I had hoped to line up a job, get connected with a talent agency and be established within the first month. Crazy right! I had interview after interview but no job. Meanwhile, I dealt with my GA money not living up to NY costs. On top of that, it was harder than I thought to join the crowd of thousands of other dreamers who come here to pursue modeling and acting. I had to become more competitive with my marketing materials. More time and money needed. I felt like I didn't even pack enough warm clothes for this 20 degree weather!
When things didn’t go as planned, I felt like I was on my way to failure. Luckily, I had a close friend who constantly reminded me “Well you’ve only been there a month…you’re doing fine.” (Thanks Jazmyn!) It’s nice to have those reinforcements so that you don’t stay in your head feeling like you’ve made the wrong decision.
So my advice to anyone dealing with a change of location or any type of change, GIVE YOURSELF TIME! It doesn’t all have to work out at one time. Break down your goals into steps and one by one cross them off your list. Not that you can’t work on multiple goals at once, just don’t get upset if it all doesn’t come to pass at the same time. Take every step that doesn’t work out as a lesson and come back stronger. It’ll be okay. Also, it’s pretty cool to find the fun in the journey to where you want to be. So I find a way to laugh at the times I get lost on the train and take the bad interviews as a BLESSING and a lesson (But I did land a good gig THANK YOU JESUS!!).
I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, so I better make the best of it!
The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and adventures!"
- The Blakk Dahlia
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