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Bad Encounters: A Quick Run to the Store...

4/18/2019

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Dahlia Talk: Wrong Vengeance,
​from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
book discussion, wrong vengeance book by the blakk dahlia
Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor.
In chapter one of "Wrong Vengeance", the main character, Brandy encounters the unwanted advances of a no-good man who represents everything she's trying to run from. A quick run to the convenience store, late at night, turned into a fight for demanding respect as well as driving the point of rejection home for the "Loitering Bachelor". 
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What is a "Loitering Bachelor"?
A single, or not so single, guy who stands outside of a store. He's lurking b/c he has nothing else better to do but get phone numbers from women who are out of his league.

Usually he's unkept, jobless, and has no ambition for success. Everyday he wakes up and leave the house just to LOITER. Waiting for a woman to be captivated by his lies, only to use her for every good thing she has. 

Personal Experience
It always happens on the days I need to run in and out of the store. I don't mind saying "hello" or even giving small talk. But there's a type of man who doesn't understand the "I'm not interested" language. Sometimes I tell a white lie and say I'm taken. Then there's a follow up "Well can you have friends?". I get the persistence, however, if the tables were turned, a woman would appear to be crazy or unstable. Why can't these guys take the hint. Also, things can turn violent. Men whose egos are bruised tend to call you out of your name and get aggressive. So what is a woman to do in these situations. Give out the phone number anyway? I've done that, then ignore the texts/calls. Not all men get this treatment. The ones who are polite, charming, and even funny is able to get my attention. However, these "loitering bachelors" who KNOW they have no interest in anything beyond the bedroom or using a woman tend to be pushy.

What's your Loitering Bachelor Story?
Share your "Loitering Bachelor" story in the comments below!

wrong vengeance book by the blakk dahlia
About Wrong Vengeance
Brandy deals with the type of man she’s grown to despise. It’s hard for her not to turn into what destroyed her emotionally. She knew better. Knew she deserved better, but love…It ends in a nearly fatal disaster. Brandy was lucky to have fled the grasp of the pain attempting to draw her back in. Moving on, life deals her a good hand in love. However, the pain of what she escaped lingers; slowly releasing the monster within. Will she allow past hurt to eliminate future happiness? A constant replay of a bad experience can kill a good thing. It’s even worse when you’re becoming the Heartbreak. 

Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon!

BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor, from Wrong Vengeance HERE!
Don't forget to share your story below!
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​​​The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Seat Filler

5/4/2018

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Seat Filler by The Blakk Dahlia, dating blogs, black couples, african american couple, date night, dating
Desk Note from the Heartbreak Diaries Series.

​You're not his woman, nor does he have the desire for you to be. You're just filling space until the original owner comes back OR until he finds a better fit. You know, the one he’d be willing to put in the work for. Not you though. I call this position, the seat filler. There's nothing wrong with you, he just doesn’t see you as "the one". 

Now think of the responsibilities of a REAL seat filler. They attend the award show, get called to a particular seat if they have a certain look or just next in line. They can’t get too comfortable no matter how good the show is. The star returns, and the seat filler is escorted back to the holding area. THAT’S what you are in his life. 

If you are fully aware of when you’re in this position and decide to move forward anyway, understand that it’ll never be a win/win situation. You won’t get “camera time” (No social media sightings), no red carpet appearances (date nights), and you’ll never be welcomed to the stage during the highlights of his life. And at the end of the night, when your duties are complete, you’ll be sent to the back before the show is over.

Don’t invest too much in this position. It’s just temporary fun. And know that you do have the option to get up and sit in a section that is meant for you.
TRUTH MOMENT:
I've often found myself in this position. So much to the point where I started recognizing that I was a seat filler and became "ok" with it. I understood that any day the phone calls and texts would stop, no more "quality time", no more intimate hugs in pubic. Whether I'd be warned beforehand or not, there would come a time when I would be forced to let go. Then I had the nerve to be shocked about it. But the ending would appear out of nowhere. When I wasn’t ready to let go. Like a roller coaster stopping the ride after the first big loop. 

Oh that’s it?!

Over time I realized that, in a way, I inflicted this pain on myself. I knew the risks and I knew the results but I kept it going anyway.

On an episode of The Golden Girls I remember Blanche telling Rose: "Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want it to, so we have to grab our happiness however we can get it". I used to live by this. Telling myself that if I couldn’t have him the way I wanted, I'd settle for whatever I could get.

But when does a person come to the point where the constant disappointment and heart ache is enough? If I’m just going to end up alone, why not stay that way. Why was I giving so much to someone who gave so little? Was I not worth more? Did he not understand that I’m worth more? 

Doesn’t matter. I wasn’t it for him. For whatever reason, I didn’t do it for him. My only job was to “fill the space”.

So tell me. What section are you sitting in?
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Updated: 9/7/2020
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The Blakk Dahlia, E. Alexcina Brown, black authors, new york authors, self published authors, women authors, romance authors

​The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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    Author and lifestyle blogger, The blakk dahlia (e. alexcina brown)
    "I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!" 
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