 Oh Yea its just me…I’m cool with that. Eating alone is always deemed as a bad thing. “She doesn’t have friends?” “No man to take her out?” Not even. You just need that time alone. And why wait on someone to schedule you in just to get a meal or a nice drink. Many people stay inside day and night just because they don’t have anyone to accompany them. What’s up with that?!?! I LOVE hanging out alone. Yes it’s safer with a friend in the big city but there are ways to have a good day/night without the fear. Stay on guard, trust your instincts, go home at a decent hour...ALONE! And don’t make eye contact with the creeps. Outside of that, you can have a perfectly good time with yourself. I know I do!  Daytime Dates. It’s the weekend baby! Time off from work and sleeping in. But I tend to go stir crazy being confined within the four walls of my apartment. Even during my freelancing days I took a weekday afternoon for an adventure or just some quiet time in public. It’s fun having time to relax at home but I need sun, I need to feel a cool breeze, I need to stretch my legs and most importantly, I need food! I like to take the train and pick a stop. I know I’ll find a good place to eat where I can sit outside or inside of a unique decorative restaurant with perfect strangers ready to strike up an insightful convo. Or just sitting with my own thoughts to jot down in my “notebook”. Or to study my lines. Either way, I’m enjoying time out of the house, just exploring. In New York, no place is the same and as a “newbie” its hard for me to visit the same place multiple times. There’s just too much to choose from.
Although I have my favs, my random adventures help me find new place and new faces. Whether a light lunch or a big meal, I know I’ll have a great dining experience without the awkward silence or the long yammering about nothing. I sit. I watch. I eat. I enjoy! Day time dates with myself entails beautiful scenery, people watching, cute pups searching for that perfect spot to lift its leg, and getting some exercise in for the day. Into the Night. Why wait for someone to make plans? I love taking myself out on the town. It beats sitting around waiting for some magic to happen. I like to go out and create the magic. Plus it’s a good way to find another cool spot to add on the weekend list when friends visit. In New York you HAVE to experience a night on the town. Watching the beautiful buildings illuminate the sky with their lights on the way to a bar/lounge with more chic décor. (It also gives me ideas to spruce up this apartment.) Having a solo dinner date can also introduce you to some interesting people. Interesting in a good way. I’ve met many people for networking or “new friends” purposes. And there’s no pressure like there is on dates. Random stuff with a good story behind. I love to listen to people’s point of views that are unbiased and non-judgmental. Very easy to reveal your dreams to a perfect stranger. They don’t know me, and if I don’t agree with their opinion, out the other ear it goes!
 The Money. Yes NYC is expensive and a good lunch is costly. But that’s what Happy Hour, EventBrite, and the Appetizer menu is for! It doesn’t take a bunch of money to hang. Need ideas to hang? Go to Eventbrite and look up free events in the area. There’s so much going on in this big city: Art Galleries, Speed dating, Dinner Specials, and even a great party or three. Look it up and enjoy your time alone. It’s not a big deal to treat yourself out of the house. No one is judging you. Those are only thoughts running through your head that only deters you from experiencing a great time.
So hold your head up when you tell the hostess “Just One”. You’re about to be in for a treat! Where's Your Fav Solo Date Spot? The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
0 Comments
 Desk Note from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. You're not his woman, nor does he have the desire for you to be. You're just filling space until the original owner comes back OR until he finds a better fit. You know, the one he’d be willing to put in the work for. Not you though. I call this position, the seat filler. There's nothing wrong with you, he just doesn’t see you as "the one". Now think of the responsibilities of a REAL seat filler. They attend the award show, get called to a particular seat if they have a certain look or just next in line. They can’t get too comfortable no matter how good the show is. The star returns, and the seat filler is escorted back to the holding area. THAT’S what you are in his life. If you are fully aware of when you’re in this position and decide to move forward anyway, understand that it’ll never be a win/win situation. You won’t get “camera time” (No social media sightings), no red carpet appearances (date nights), and you’ll never be welcomed to the stage during the highlights of his life. And at the end of the night, when your duties are complete, you’ll be sent to the back before the show is over. Don’t invest too much in this position. It’s just temporary fun. And know that you do have the option to get up and sit in a section that is meant for you. TRUTH MOMENT: I've often found myself in this position. So much to the point where I started recognizing that I was a seat filler and became "ok" with it. I understood that any day the phone calls and texts would stop, no more "quality time", no more intimate hugs in pubic. Whether I'd be warned beforehand or not, there would come a time when I would be forced to let go. Then I had the nerve to be shocked about it. But the ending would appear out of nowhere. When I wasn’t ready to let go. Like a roller coaster stopping the ride after the first big loop. Oh that’s it?! Over time I realized that, in a way, I inflicted this pain on myself. I knew the risks and I knew the results but I kept it going anyway. On an episode of The Golden Girls I remember Blanche telling Rose: "Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want it to, so we have to grab our happiness however we can get it". I used to live by this. Telling myself that if I couldn’t have him the way I wanted, I'd settle for whatever I could get. But when does a person come to the point where the constant disappointment and heart ache is enough? If I’m just going to end up alone, why not stay that way. Why was I giving so much to someone who gave so little? Was I not worth more? Did he not understand that I’m worth more? Doesn’t matter. I wasn’t it for him. For whatever reason, I didn’t do it for him. My only job was to “fill the space”. So tell me. What section are you sitting in?  Updated: 9/7/2020 Welcome to the HEARTBREAK! Tap into the heartbreak and engage in the conversations many are too afraid to start with lovers... Learn more about the Heartbreak Diaries Series!    The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!"
- The Blakk Dahlia from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
Important Links
Categories
All
Archives
June 2025
|
RSS Feed
