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A New Season that Calls for Refocusing to Continue to Move Forward  Hot Girl Summer...seemed like it was NEVER going to end. We vacationed, we enjoyed the beach, danced at rooftop parties, and tried new things! The fun doesn't have to be over just because the weather is cooling off. Fall time is diving into the harvest. Fall festivals, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and so much more! However, in dabbling into watching the leaves paint beautiful pictures on trees, let's dive into refocusing on ourselves. While we put away those summer shorts, lets put away those bad habits we picked up during the hot days of summer. New seasons come around for a reason, and it serves as a pleasurable reminder for us to reassess our goals and realign us on the right path.  Make a list of what you want to accomplish this season: ~ What did I accomplish last season? ~ What am I doing now to move me forward? ~ What is cluttering my mind and throwing me off focus? ~ What small steps can I start taking? ~ What activities can I do without? And what can I replace these activities with that will help me reach my goals? As you list out these items, don't feel bad about yourself. You're taking inventory of what you need and what you can throw away. While refocusing, be sure to schedule in your self-care and a little reading time to keep your mind balanced. Don't fall into the myth of over-working yourself to success. "Feel Good Fall" is here and we are ready to step into a new season with our heads held HIGH!
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 I used to look forward to long weekends as a time to book a vacation and hang out with friends on a beach. But now, as my 30s have set in, I’m finding myself truly enjoying the much earned holiday for what it is. Airports are hectic, the highways are jammed with traffic, and my bank account is like “Guess again! You know rent is due!” Gotta love “adulting” lol. To ease the what to do questions for this day, I’ve compiled a list of Netflix movies to watch while taking a break from labor! Also, this list is great for a Friday night at home. NYC nightlife can get a bit expensive and bar hopping can leave you with a sad face Saturday morning when reviewing your debit transactions. Sit back, enjoy your favorite meal (and drink) and just allow your $9.99 subscription to entertain you for the day.
 Paris is Burning (1991) Just a damn good film. With the rise of the hit series "Pose" New York ballroom culture is on the minds of many. This movie goes underground into the scene during the time period of the height of ballroom. This documentary focuses on drag queens living in New York City and their "house" culture, which provides a sense of community and support for the flamboyant and often socially shunned performers.   Sharing the Shade...Lipsticks! I always find out about the National “internet appointed” holidays on the day of and sometimes after. (Usually through a hashtag on IG). Luckily, I caught this one in time to participate and share my favorite lipstick shades on the gram. Although National Lipstick Day is now over, there’s never a wrong day to talk about lipstick! History of the Day According to NationalDayCalendar.com, National Lipstick Day started before a day was declared in its honor. However, in 2016, Huda Kattan (Beauty Blogger/Entrepreneur/International Businesswoman), founded National Lipstick Day and its now registered as a National Day. Beauty lovers aren't the only ones who partake in the day. Cosmetic brands from NYX, Mac, Colourpop, and Bite Beauty (just to name a few); offered specials and even free "lippies" on lipstick's special day. Yea...I missed out on that too.  Matte or Glossy? Matte is my favorite style. It gives me a fuller lip look and displays my color just right. However, depending on the brand I have to add a little gloss to keep from getting the “cracked-dry lip”. My favorite brand of Mattes is Nicka K New York.  Photo Credit: Joe Miles (NYC) The Shade I like variety on my lips. All colors ranging from a light nude/pink to a deep gray. Many times, my mood determines the shade of choice. In the fall, I lean towards darker colors. In the daytime, I paint my lips in a deep burgundy shade and at night, I tend to go darker with a grey/black. My “go-to” shade for work or a run to the store, is Maroon by Nicka K New York. Lipstick Collection Starters With any lipstick collection, every girl must have these in their make up kit:
Lipstick Selfies  Mixed Color: Latte (Absolute New York) & Violet Red (Nicka K New York) Mix ‘til You Find “the One” If I don’t see the color I want at the store, I like to mix colors to create a new and fun look for my lips. Mixing Latte (Absolute New York) & Violet Red (Nicka K New York) gives me the perfect shade of “Rose” for the days I’m out exploring NYC or even bar hopping. I also mix my hot pinks with a nude color to tone the volume down while keeping a vibrant shade. Playing with lipsticks is something I love to do when I'm hanging around the house or getting ready to go out. I even schedule days to visit my favorite Beauty Supply store to go Lipstick shopping to restock and discover a new shade to add to the collection! Be sure to mark your calendar for next year’s National Lipstick Day to take advantage of the sales and giveaways.  Nicka K New York Collection In the meantime, share your lipstick secrets below! I want to know your favorite brands, shades, and what’s currently in your collection!
Snippets from the "7-Day Guide to Forget About Your Heartbreak"This guide breaks down 7-Days of activities to get your mind refocused and help ease the frustrations of a heartbreak. Learn how to get back to YOU! Take care of you by refueling so that you can rejoin the world refreshed. Now go get over the heartbreak! You deserve it!  "Why Do I Need This Again?" Heartbreaks are unexpected and such a pain to get over. But it happens. It’s what you during the times of losing someone special that sets the tone of allowing the experience to make you better or bitter. Whether coming out of a dating situation or long-term relationship, adjustments are needed to get out of the mind frame of thinking like a couple to being okay with going about your days and nights…alone.  Meditation Monday. Free Your Mind! Mondays are deemed to be a drag. But they don’t have to be. Set your week in a new tone by starting a routine with taking care of the mind. As they say, wherever the head goes, the body will follow. By clearing your mind and regaining focus on what’s important, you make room for the positive vibes to freely flow. Giving in to the Monday blues will only allow the thoughts/feelings of your broken heart to make its way into your head.  Tacos and Talk Tuesday. Eat Your Heart Out with a Friend! Heartbreaks can make you become reclusive. You don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, the world is shut out, and all you want to do is sit at home in bed, listening to your sad love song playlist. SNAP OUT OF THAT! Create an evening event where you catch up with a friend(s) over tacos. Because hey, who doesn’t like tacos? (If your friend isn’t excited about Taco Tuesday, let them go. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life! j/k).  Wisdom Wednesday. Elevate Your Knowledge! You gotta keep your mind sharp. Why not devote a Wednesday evening to quenching that thirst for knowledge. Spend some alone time learning. Refuel our mind with knowledge and new conversation pieces with stepping outside of your normal gossip blog trolling. If you like trolling blogs, troll blogs that will help build your business OR blogs that will help you on your mediation Mondays. Anything that will feed you spiritually and/or intellectually.  Throw it Out Thursday. Delete and Delete! Now it’s time to PURGE your phone! Along with social media, you can get caught up in scrolling through past photos of dates nights, random selfies, and those candid shots of him you took when he wasn’t looking. All of it is a recipe for reminiscing and wondering what could have been. You can’t move on with your life revisiting the past. It’s time to move those “souvenirs” out of sight. You gotta put away any reminders of “him” that will try to control your emotions. You can’t even find that funny meme you screenshot weeks ago because pictures of you and him are in the way. Free up that phone data!  Fearless Friday. Time to Go For It! We all have a road not taken or something that we’ve always wanted to do, but afraid to take that first step. Today is the day you move forward with courage. JUST START IT ALREADY! Take on the challenge of being fearless and do what you’ve been scared to do.  Sweat it Out Saturday. Weekend Work! Yep, you knew it was coming. Time to work out! Sweat out the pain, bad memories, and heartbreak with a 30 mins to an hour session moving and challenging the body. Give your heart a break and go to bed with aching limbs instead. Saturdays are great for running errands, catching up on shows, and sleeping in. But you have to spend time working on your body. No pain, no gain right?  Self Care Sunday. Get Your Glow Back! Wind down your week with pampering yourself. From head to toe, give your body some much-needed nourishment with beauty regimens often skipped due to work, daily life, and other stuff that gets in the way. Sunday is about filling your body with the nutrients needed to provide you with a glow on the inside and out. Ending the week on a relaxing note can get your mind ready for meditation and moving on.
Learn self-building ways to forget about past relationships by starting healthy new routines for the mind and the body! The full guide is FREE for email subscribers! Sign up Here.  Get tips on how to cope with moving on, without getting caught up in the distraction. From the book, Rushing to Distraction (the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series)  The Distraction. A new day. A fresh start to move forward with your life. Although, thoughts of what’s left behind can’t seem to leave you to get the day going. Simple tasks, such as getting out of bed to head to the shower can throw you back into a mental time machine. Traveling to the days when things seemed good. A comfort zone that you were forced out of, usually for your own best interest, is the place where you want to be. Not the present. Instead, you’re missing out on the new blessings the morning can give you. New opportunities to step into a different direction filled with greater things. You know you need to move on, you may even want to move on, but the heart takes over and you're stuck in distraction. So what do you do? How can you deal with the new changes of something as simple as a morning routine?  Acceptance. Accept what is. But how? Make peace with the monkey wrench thrown into your plans. Understand that whatever you’re going through, in the end, it will be okay. Just Do It. To take a step into starting over, that’s what you have to do. Take the step. Yes, you’ll want to grieve and/or reminisce but those days are over. You have to muster up the strength to shake the feeling of wanting what you once had. What’s To Come. Look forward to the unknown. Be happy and grateful for the adventures that lie ahead. You can’t enjoy new chapters, re-reading old ones. It’s Okay To Feel. Feelings make you human. Feel the feelings but don’t get stuck in them. You HAVE to feel it. Don’t hide behind the mask of “I’m Fine”. If you need to cry, cry it out. If you’re mad, be mad but don’t allow that anger to settle in your spirit. Take deep breaths, breathing out those feelings of regret, hurt, and inhale the ideals of newness. Don’t Rush to the Distractions: Book excerpt from Rushing to Distraction “Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wearing a damp towel, Farrah stares beyond her reflection. She sees beauty, passion, a giving heart, a loving spirit, and inner yearnings for love. Everything he doesn’t see in her. Her mind floods with questions. Did she try enough? Show enough? Give enough? Was SHE enough?” In “Rushing to Distraction”, Farrah stayed within the feelings of getting distracted by what should have been. In her mind, she settled in the thoughts of what she wanted versus what was standing in front of her. What was in front of her was a man, by the name of Jamie, who refused to give her what she deserved. Instead, Farrah created a facade, making excuses for his inconsistent behavior patterns. Although he showed himself, Farrah didn’t want to see the truth in the matter, which caused more pain in the end. Leaving her DISTRACTED! How do you know when to give up? How did Farrah cope with the feelings of wanting what she never had in him? Find out in the 1st entry of the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series, “Rushing to Distraction” (The Foolish Heart).  About Rushing to Distraction Rushing to Distraction is the first entry from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series. This story goes deep inside of a heart that ignores the warning signs when potential love shows up. Immersing everything into just getting it to work out. Farrah is driven, focused, and knows her worth until she runs into Jamie. After a long time of putting love on the back-burner, the guard quickly crumbled over this man's potential. She wasn’t asking for the romantic feelings, however, when they showed up, it was hard to let go. Jamie knows she's wrapped around his finger; slowly drawing her in with the potential for a great love. For Farrah, her yearn for companionship blinds her to the reality that taking it slow is imperative when getting to know someone. Her goals fell by the wayside, her personal relationships faltered; all because she’s distracted by a possibility. Will her constant attempts to make him love her fail? Or will he see her sacrifices as admirable and CHOOSE her? Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon! BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Rushing to Distraction HERE!  Share your story, have you ever allowed a lost love to distract you from daily life?
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Photo Credit: Joe Miles
"I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Archives
September 2019
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