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Do You Stay Where You Are...Or Take a Risk to Try Again? Book Chat for the book, Devastation or Destiny???  The Gamble It's a crapshoot, in leaving "all you know" to venture out into the "unknown". In love, it's no different. Those who have left long-term relationships (for whatever reason) have jumped back into the dating world, only to find that they could have kept what they had. But, in a good moment, being in the right place at the right time, the Universe sprinkles that spark down on you placing you in fates hands. In the end, these moments reveal exactly why things didn't work out in the comfort zone of your heart. Have You Ever Settled for Love out of Fear? Everyone wants to love and to be in love. So much that they’ve accepted lowered standards or a life in which they didn’t desire, just to have that. In some cases, they live happily ever after. Although, there’s always that itch for something more, or what’s on the other side of that fear. We should never take “whatever” that is handed to us, due to the fear of being alone. The mind isn’t operating out a sense of self-awareness. It's in survival mode. And once in survival mode, you’ll do anything to hold on to that love. Even if it means a daily compromise of yourself with nothing in return.  In Devastation or Destiny???, Tanya was faced with a BIG curveball which led to the demise of her relationship. One that she felt would last forever. In losing something so major, piled on top of the pain, humiliation, and lowered self-esteem; she was faced with an opportunity to start over. Then, the opportunity to go back to the comfort zone presents itself leaving her with the decision of, “What life do I choose? The one I want, OR the one in which I know how the story will end.”  About Devastation or Destiny???
(The Settled Heart) Tanya found her happy ending, but it wasn’t the one she wrote. A lover of adventure and exploration found the heart of a hard-working traditional man. Kenneth is unwilling to take on her dreams, however, he gives the greatest love with no reservations. As their wedding day approaches, she finds herself thinking of what could have been. Did I give up on what I REALLY wanted too soon? Fearing that she’ll miss out on a chance of true love, Tanya gives in. But, the deep yearnings never end. The universe hears the inner cries of the life she wanted, as she prepares to take on a new life with Kenneth. Life eventually gives her want she truly wants but with a cost…Devastation! Thrown into dismay, Tanya finds herself starting over. Will the devastation be worth it? Or should she have been grateful for the “once in a lifetime love”? The third “diary entry” from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series is Available NOW!
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 Picture this: Your email is filling up with junk. Irrelevant information, solicitations, scams, useless junk. You can't even get to the emails that are important due to the clutter. What do you do? Unsubscribe. You have to do that in life as well. We tend to humor people, conversations, and events that are of no interest and value to us. Why? Why do we give into the pressures of useless banter? The clutter stops today! Unsubscribe to people, places, and things that stress you out and doesn't serve you. You don't have to engage in gossip conversations just to belong. There's no need to listen to "frenemies" put you down because they feel inferior. Don't engage in the the small talk that irks your soul. It's okay to say "no thanks", "I'm not interested", or "I'll sit this one out". Your peace is worth more than pleasing those who are only thinking of themselves. You're not obligated to anything outside of what makes you happy and elevates you. It only clutters your mind, keeping you from the important passions that feeds your soul. Go on...PRESS THE BUTTON.  A New Season that Calls for Refocusing to Continue to Move Forward  Hot Girl Summer...seemed like it was NEVER going to end. We vacationed, we enjoyed the beach, danced at rooftop parties, and tried new things! The fun doesn't have to be over just because the weather is cooling off. Fall time is diving into the harvest. Fall festivals, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and so much more! However, in dabbling into watching the leaves paint beautiful pictures on trees, let's dive into refocusing on ourselves. While we put away those summer shorts, lets put away those bad habits we picked up during the hot days of summer. New seasons come around for a reason, and it serves as a pleasurable reminder for us to reassess our goals and realign us on the right path.  Make a list of what you want to accomplish this season: ~ What did I accomplish last season? ~ What am I doing now to move me forward? ~ What is cluttering my mind and throwing me off focus? ~ What small steps can I start taking? ~ What activities can I do without? And what can I replace these activities with that will help me reach my goals? As you list out these items, don't feel bad about yourself. You're taking inventory of what you need and what you can throw away. While refocusing, be sure to schedule in your self-care and a little reading time to keep your mind balanced. Don't fall into the myth of over-working yourself to success. "Feel Good Fall" is here and we are ready to step into a new season with our heads held HIGH!
 I used to look forward to long weekends as a time to book a vacation and hang out with friends on a beach. But now, as my 30s have set in, I’m finding myself truly enjoying the much earned holiday for what it is. Airports are hectic, the highways are jammed with traffic, and my bank account is like “Guess again! You know rent is due!” Gotta love “adulting” lol. To ease the what to do questions for this day, I’ve compiled a list of Netflix movies to watch while taking a break from labor! Also, this list is great for a Friday night at home. NYC nightlife can get a bit expensive and bar hopping can leave you with a sad face Saturday morning when reviewing your debit transactions. Sit back, enjoy your favorite meal (and drink) and just allow your $9.99 subscription to entertain you for the day.
 Paris is Burning (1991) Just a damn good film. With the rise of the hit series "Pose" New York ballroom culture is on the minds of many. This movie goes underground into the scene during the time period of the height of ballroom. This documentary focuses on drag queens living in New York City and their "house" culture, which provides a sense of community and support for the flamboyant and often socially shunned performers.   Sharing the Shade...Lipsticks! I always find out about the National “internet appointed” holidays on the day of and sometimes after. (Usually through a hashtag on IG). Luckily, I caught this one in time to participate and share my favorite lipstick shades on the gram. Although National Lipstick Day is now over, there’s never a wrong day to talk about lipstick! History of the Day According to NationalDayCalendar.com, National Lipstick Day started before a day was declared in its honor. However, in 2016, Huda Kattan (Beauty Blogger/Entrepreneur/International Businesswoman), founded National Lipstick Day and its now registered as a National Day. Beauty lovers aren't the only ones who partake in the day. Cosmetic brands from NYX, Mac, Colourpop, and Bite Beauty (just to name a few); offered specials and even free "lippies" on lipstick's special day. Yea...I missed out on that too.  Matte or Glossy? Matte is my favorite style. It gives me a fuller lip look and displays my color just right. However, depending on the brand I have to add a little gloss to keep from getting the “cracked-dry lip”. My favorite brand of Mattes is Nicka K New York.  Photo Credit: Joe Miles (NYC) The Shade I like variety on my lips. All colors ranging from a light nude/pink to a deep gray. Many times, my mood determines the shade of choice. In the fall, I lean towards darker colors. In the daytime, I paint my lips in a deep burgundy shade and at night, I tend to go darker with a grey/black. My “go-to” shade for work or a run to the store, is Maroon by Nicka K New York. Lipstick Collection Starters With any lipstick collection, every girl must have these in their make up kit:
Lipstick Selfies  Mixed Color: Latte (Absolute New York) & Violet Red (Nicka K New York) Mix ‘til You Find “the One” If I don’t see the color I want at the store, I like to mix colors to create a new and fun look for my lips. Mixing Latte (Absolute New York) & Violet Red (Nicka K New York) gives me the perfect shade of “Rose” for the days I’m out exploring NYC or even bar hopping. I also mix my hot pinks with a nude color to tone the volume down while keeping a vibrant shade. Playing with lipsticks is something I love to do when I'm hanging around the house or getting ready to go out. I even schedule days to visit my favorite Beauty Supply store to go Lipstick shopping to restock and discover a new shade to add to the collection! Be sure to mark your calendar for next year’s National Lipstick Day to take advantage of the sales and giveaways.  Nicka K New York Collection In the meantime, share your lipstick secrets below! I want to know your favorite brands, shades, and what’s currently in your collection!
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Photo Credit: Joe Miles
"I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Archives
November 2019
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