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Dealing with the Big “B”: Burnout

5/17/2022

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Nothing to give, nothing to say, nothing to create. I’m drained!

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A friend gave me great advice when things aren’t working out as you want, leave it alone. Don’t bother it, don’t touch it, don’t allow it to fester in your mind and spirit. There’s nothing left to do but allow things to organically come back together. And when the time is right, it does.
 
At times, I find it hard to constantly create ways to simply…create. I can’t concentrate, can’t think, and don’t have the normal drive to sit at the computer. And when I do, the ideas just won’t come. I feel sluggish and tired, only wanting to lay in bed. It’s not that I don’t want to be productive I just can’t get with it.

This is what I call burnout. It's more than having “writer’s block”. It’s a mental block, preventing me the ability to function at my full capacity. Time moves on and nothing happens. It becomes comfortable for me to “not do it”. Then it mentally takes a toll as I feel like I’m being lazy.
 
I love to write. I love to create. I want to work. But my mind and body just won’t allow it. When this moment arises, I have no choice but to step back and regain focus on my own time.

It can come from lack of sleep due to work and/or piling more on my plate to “keep up”. So, I want to share what I’ve learned during my moments of burning out.
Be honest with yourself about what you can/can’t handle. It’s okay!
How do you know you’re burnt out?
One minute you’re going full force, producing at a fast pace. Then the next…boom, it hits you. Sluggish feelings and frustration set in because you can't produce like you used to. The feelings are hard to control and come out of. You have no choice but to go with the motions of irregular patterns thrown into your regular work routine.
 
Whenever this feeling arises what can you do? First, it's best to identify what it is. Feeling the burnout can come in many forms. It can range from falling behind on personal and professional deadlines to staying in bed longer than the alarm clock(s). It can also show up in the physical form. Headaches, physical pains, tiredness, and even sickness.

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Getting hit with these symptoms can make you feel as if you’re inactive. Self-doubt kicks in, bringing you further down into a bad spiral. Instead of piling more work and forcing it, recognize what is happening to you. Understanding that you’re going through the motions of burning out, helps in dealing with it.
When to leave things alone.
 As you deal with the mental and physical changes from being burnt out, you must know when to leave the work alone. Allowing it to just create space to recharge. Taking time away from your project, job, or whatever that’s draining you helps in refocusing your purpose while getting the necessary energy back.
 
What if you’re not able to fully take time away? Peel a few layers off your tasks. Cutting back can be just as effective. Just as long as you’re not trying to operate at full speed while your energy is on empty.

When your cell phone or laptop battery is low what do you do? Charge it. You don’t put more work on it or curse it because it's lacking productivity.
poolside, good book, vacations
What to do in the meantime.
While stepping away or cutting back, it's best to fill those spaces with activities to refuel. Remember, taking this time is meant to help YOU. Not to take on different a new stressor or do for someone else. This is all about getting your mind and spirit back to a place where you’re operating on 100%. Here are a few examples of what to do:


  • Rest.
  • Take a vacation.
  • Watch movies you love.
  • Read books that will mentally take you away from what’s burning you out.
  • Spend time with loved ones.
  • Pamper yourself.
  • Exercise.
  • Work on those household projects you’ve been putting off.
bath, self care, pampering
Get ready for the abundance. Jump back in!
After you have taken that necessary time, your mind and body have a way of letting you know that it’s time to jump back in. You can also test the waters if you’re feeling antsy but don’t hesitate to pull back if you’re feeling overwhelmed again.
 
It tends to happen when you least expect it. All of a sudden, you feel better. The headaches are gone, and you feel like a new person. Once the burnout flows away from your recharging, you’ll tend to receive random overflows of ideas and creativity.

black woman, stretching, rejuvenated, rested, happy woman
You wake up one day on a full battery and you’re ready to go!
Burning out is normal. It doesn’t equate to a lack of productivity. You can’t escape it if you’re constantly working hard towards your goals. We’ve all been there. Don’t worry because it's only temporary, as long as you take care of yourself. Sooner than you think, you’ll be able to get back on the saddle operating better than ever!

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The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Good Grief! Let’s Just Say Mourning Has a Type

10/27/2021

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Romance-suspense author, The Blakk Dahlia, announces the release date for the upcoming book, Replacement, from the series the Heartbreak Diaries.
Replacement book by The Blakk Dahlia, romance books, black authors, romance suspense books
Romance readers will get a dose of grief with the fifth installment from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. The upcoming book, Replacement, will tap into The Grieving Heart. Learn how a free-spirited woman navigates through heartbreak from a loss. On December 30, 2021, The Blakk Dahlia, will share the latest release continuing the gripping series from the heart’s perspective.
 
The book’s focus is around a young couple, deeply in love. On their way to plan their lives together, until the romance is quickly taken away. The main character, Natalie, relies on the love of her life for balance. However, once it's gone, she has to find a way to move on without the only true love she’s ever known. In one way, some may say she saw it coming through dream-filled premonitions. But we all know signs are often ignored while looking through rose-colored glasses.
 
Natalie does the best she can to move on, however, in her own method of coping she searches for what she lost. This search involves following the exact mold from the old love life. Will it work out to her advantage?
 
“It was hard to complete this book as I wanted to be sensitive to those who were currently dealing with loss and the attempts to pick up the pieces,” says author, The Blakk Dahlia, “However, in moving on in life, it's important to tell the stories that are often judged, lost, and even unspoken. Someone can relate whether from personal experiences or even through having the same thoughts as the characters. Moving on from a loss can be a hard thing and there’s no roadmap. We all just do the best we can.”
 
Grief hits in many ways. Some are in phases while in other cases, there are doses of various emotions. This book will explore a unique way of coping with losing love.
 
“Replacement” will be available in paperback and eBook formats on December 30, 2021, via
Amazon, AmazonKindle, NookBook, AppleBooks, Kobo, and MORE!
Visit www.TheBlakkDahlia.com for more info.

romance books, replacement book by the blakk dahlia, black authors, book series
About Replacement (The Grieving Heart)
We All Mourn Differently…

Natalie and Adam have genuine love. Dealing with the scrutiny of an interracial relationship, her parents not approving of her career choice, and normal relationship troubles; they survived it all. Until life hits them hard, sending Adam away and Natalie is forced to move on with her life.

As she grieves the romance lost, her coping method is to forget it ever happened. But deep down, she throws herself into searching for a man to take his place. Recreating the scenario of how they met with different men didn’t pan out the way she’d hoped.

Meeting the final replacement in a hot lawyer, Chris, shows that she never had to do that at all. Just living and moving forward would have given Natalie everything she lost.
But life doesn’t go on without trouble. The secrets are brewing, and once found out it changes the trajectory of her future and ruins the love of her past.

​Will her heart EVER recover?


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​About the Heartbreak Diaries Series
 the Heartbreak Diaries is a collection of romance-suspense stories. This series dives deep into the various hearts we love, like, or lust with when approaching dating, relationships, marriage, and even situationships. What’s unique about this series are the "hearts" in each book telling their story from a real and vulnerable place. Each book has a “dear diary” moment from an integral character, displaying their logic and true intentions within the heartbreak.


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​About The Blakk Dahlia
The Blakk Dahlia, (E. Alexcina Brown), is a self-published, romantic-suspense author. The Macon, GA native has created ventures within the entertainment and fashion industries in front of the camera as an internationally published model as well as behind the scenes. As a writer, she has contributed articles and blogs for various industries, including creating and serving as Editor-in-Chief for four years for the digital publication, BRASH! Magazine.
 
Now residing in New York City, The Blakk Dahlia released the fiction book series, the Heartbreak Diaries, delving into the inner thoughts and routes of heartache. She takes you through the process through her stories, documenting the journey of taking risks in life and self-discovery.

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Writing Essentials

5/25/2021

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Tools my writing life can’t live without
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Writing is so important to me. It’s yet another creative outlet to express myself and share authentic thoughts; with a sprinkle of imagination. Although writing may appear easy, sitting down with a notepad or computer; it’s not as simple for true creators. For me, there are “must-haves” that allow me to work freely without distractions along with providing the inspiration to get thoughts down on paper (or on the screen).

​With this, I’d love to share my list of essentials for writing. These elements help me to create within my own world. It’s all about relaxing, forgetting about the day’s mishaps and strenuous tasks, to…just write.
writers life, thesaurus, achieve, thesaurus page
Thesaurus. With everything I write, I seek elevation. Often, I find myself saying the same things the same way. There’s no growth in that. So, my “handy-dandy” thesaurus helps me to express emotions and actions which A. upgrades my personal vocabulary and B. levels up my work. It also helps in the editing process so that my words don’t sound redundant and long-winded. As writers we tend to make the mistake of taking the “scenic route” to articulate a plot, however, keeping it simple yet descriptive ensures that my readers stay on course.
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Music/Binge-worthy TV. A little background noise doesn’t hurt the process. Dead silence can sometimes be distracting for me. I need to get into a zone and music/TV does just that.
My playlist places me in a mood to write out a scene. For example, if the part is based around romance; 90’s R&B sets the scene to put that tone on paper giving a true interaction between the characters. I have to be honest if it’s a good song I do tend to get lost in the music but a little break to enjoy a throwback jam doesn’t completely throw me off course.
TV, analog televesion, television, binge-worthy, binge watching
If I’m not listening to the music playlists, I’m watching binge-worthy TV. It can’t be a new episode or a new movie because I’ll become invested. However, old episodes of Sex and the City gives me the perfect inspiration to create a narrative that readers will enjoy. Television is like moving books acted out in front of our eyes. I like to study body language during quick moments of silence. Those gestures are just as important as the dialogue. This is helpful to explain reactions, creating a dynamic between characters.

Cocktail. Who doesn’t love a good beverage to take the edge off? I usually write late at night. During the day I’m so amped with running errands, working, planning, creating, etc., etc., etc. At night, I’m winding down to start the next phase of work, which is writing. And a nice libation settles me and the mood of the evening dedicated to writing.
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Depending on the mood, evening, and whatever I have available, is a nice enhancement for good writing vibes. Although I can’t indulge too much because I need to stay on course. Moderation is key!
 
Creative space. Luckily, I live alone. So, it’s convenient for me to find a space to sit and create. Even then, some places in my home can be a bit distracting. I turned my living room into my own creative haven. My writing desk sits by the window so that I can feed off the lights of the night. Simple yet motivated decorum surrounds me and I’m able to write with ease; developing chapters of the stories I want to tell.
desk, creative space, laptop, writers life
A creative space is important to writers. A concentrative mind feeds off of peace and a unique utopia of one’s personal styling. However, I’ve even been able to find time to write in others places like on a flight. But that’s where my mood music kicks in and helps set the tone of what I want to put on paper.
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In a perfect world, all of these essentials at once would create the perfect environment to lay it all out on the chrome book. But at least two out of four works for me.
What are your must-haves for writing or your creative work?
The Blakk Dahlia, E. Alexcina Brown, black writer, lifestyle blogger, black bloggers, women writers, romance author

The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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5 Ways to Overcome Writer’s Block

12/15/2020

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Staring at a blank page
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The usual routine of writing. You’ve made time on your schedule and stuck to the plan of sitting down to work on your project, blog, and/or book. You open your journal or computer then find yourself wracking your brain trying to fill the blank page with creative and profound words. Just something that will outdo your last body of work. Nothing comes to mind (except for personal errands you forgot to run or other aggravations from the day). You can’t think of what to put on the page to save your life. It's as if a bottleneck of creativity is deadlocked in traffic, waiting to reach your brain. Finger and neck stretches fail to do the trick. Looking around the room isn’t jogging your memory either. Eventually, you’re exhausted and you complain about it on Twitter or find something unproductive to do. It pains you to even think about it, but you love to write so why is this happening?
According to an article published by Dudley Court Press (“The Most Common Causes of Writer’s Block”), there are four main reasons for Writer’s Block:
  1. Feeling Burnt Out
  2. Health Reasons
  3. Distracted
  4. Unrealistic Expectations
Have you felt that any of these are keeping you from creating your next masterpiece? We all have whether you know the reasons or not. Writer’s Block is a normal part of the writing process. It’s a rite of passage almost. It happens during the editing/re-writing process as well so don’t think just because you have words on the paper that you’ll be exempt from this common plague. But the hidden key is that we can use it to our advantage once the clutter is removed. Or maybe once we remove ourselves for a bit to recharge.
black woman at computer, writer's block, writer's blog
What To Do
To gain control over your Writer’s Block experience, here are some tips to incorporate into your creative process to overcome it and be ready to begin again:
 
1. Don’t force it. Making yourself write anyway will only result in words, sentences, and paragraphs that won’t flow with what you’re truly capable of. It’ll only stress you out further along the way. Understand that these feelings are part of the process and that it happens to all writers. You’re not a true writer until you say the words “I have writer’s block!”
 
2. Figure out what’s blocking you. Although normal, your Writer’s Block may be attributed to outside causes. Pinpoint what is going on inside that doesn’t allow you to focus. After identifying the problem, find healthy ways to eliminate them and put the writing away to do a few self-care activities. In the article previously mentioned, there are a few main causes of Writer’s Block. Reviewing those will help in determining what is hindering your process. Many times, our mind and bodies send a signal to alert that there’s something wrong. Explore those signs, dig deeper; they could be your saving grace in the long run.
 
3. Step away. Creativity is a process. It hits you when you least expect it, and you can't rush it. Although some authors/writers may be on deadlines, you have to give yourself time to step away and refuel. Include that time in your writing schedule, if possible. You can’t pour from an empty cup so taking a break is imperative. Don’t worry, once a creator; always a creator so the words, scenarios, and ideas WILL return. You just have to do what is necessary to allow your creativity to flow effectively and organic.

latptop, red wine, relaxing, self care
4. Get inspired: Take a walk/Read/Watch TV. A brief walk, giving your body fresh air can aid in clearing out the clutter in your mind. Along your walk, you may even feel a spark of inspiration just by passing through nature and/or city surroundings. Take in what you see and allow that to motivate you to get back to be descriptive in what you see and how it makes you feel.

Reading also helps in Writer’s Block. All great writers are great readers. This is how we learn and grow within our respective genres. Sitting down with your favorite book can ignite inspiration better than sitting within your frustrations.

TV isn’t just for binging on your favorite show. Various series, sitcoms, and movies can help you de-stress along with refueling the writing. Watch the characters and their gestures: describe each movement of the bodies and facial expressions. Find a way to relate to them and put it into words in your mind. Ask yourself: What made you laugh? What made you cry? What pulled out your inner emotions? The answers will often pull you back into focusing on developing your stories.
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5. Journal your feelings. Take a breath and write down these feelings within the Writer’s Block experience. Go deep into how it’s making you feel and the random thoughts running through your mind at that time. Take heed to the emotions ranging from anxiety to anger. It doesn’t have to be an entire diary entry. Make a jot list of words that express what you’re feeling in the moment. This journal entry and/or list can help you once you get back in the saddle to writing. Developing a character based on your Writer’s Block emotions gives readers a real-time experience while exploring your words.

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Whether it is a book, blog, open letter, long-form content, etc. you want to put out the best work you can. All of the causes, tips, and resolutions to combat Writer’s Block points to one common denominator…Taking care of yourself. Mental, physical, and emotional health is important to all facets of your life. Even within creative works. Pay attention to the warning signs of your brain feeling cluttered and overwhelmed. Pay attention to your body when it feels sluggish. Pay attention to the frustration you feel. Yes, your fans can’t wait to read your next piece. But you want to live to enjoy the raving reviews!

Lastly, always remember that Writer's Block doesn't mean you're finished. One day, one week of nothing on a page does not end one’s career. Rest up, then get back in the game!
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Share your tips below!
What do you do when you experience Writer’s Block?
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The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Quarantined & Blessed | Podcast Interview and Book Club!

7/21/2020

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Great things are happening for my writing and the Heartbreak Diaries. Here's a few new updates highlighting me as an author and the series!!
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​Married to My Writing Podcast
Recently, I had the opportunity to talk to the ladies of "Married to My Writing Podcast". This interview focused on my writing inspirations, what keeps me going, and my series the Heartbreak Diaries!

About the Episode.

Jack of All Trades with Alexcina Brown
Alexcina aka The Blakk Dahlia does many things, but one thing that hasn’t taken a back seat is her love of story telling. Despite the number of things she has her hand in, time for writing is always carved out. She shares how relationships turn into books and dreams turn into reality.

Listen Now on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Listen Notes | Google Podcasts


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Wrong Vengeance
Book of the Month, Rookery Book Club

GOOD NEWS: My second book “Wrong Vengeance” was chosen for Book of the Month by Rookery Book Club for the month of July!
      
from Rookery Book Club:
It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you a personal selection for July’s BOTM: WRONG VENGEANCE by my dear friend, The Blakk Dahlia (@blakkdahliawrites). This is the 2nd entry to the Heartbreak Diaries series. RBC remains committed today and everyday to highlighting the accomplishments of independent writers and bookstores, and the writing community. Now, let’s get into it while the tea is hot 😈

Follow NOW on Instagram @rookerybookclub!

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The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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    Author and lifestyle blogger, The blakk dahlia (e. alexcina brown)
    "I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and adventures!" 
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