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Tools my writing life can’t live without  Writing is so important to me. It’s yet another creative outlet to express myself and share authentic thoughts; with a sprinkle of imagination. Although writing may appear easy, sitting down with a notepad or computer; it’s not as simple for true creators. For me, there are “must-haves” that allow me to work freely without distractions along with providing the inspiration to get thoughts down on paper (or on the screen). With this, I’d love to share my list of essentials for writing. These elements help me to create within my own world. It’s all about relaxing, forgetting about the day’s mishaps and strenuous tasks, to…just write.  Thesaurus. With everything I write, I seek elevation. Often, I find myself saying the same things the same way. There’s no growth in that. So, my “handy-dandy” thesaurus helps me to express emotions and actions which A. upgrades my personal vocabulary and B. levels up my work. It also helps in the editing process so that my words don’t sound redundant and long-winded. As writers we tend to make the mistake of taking the “scenic route” to articulate a plot, however, keeping it simple yet descriptive ensures that my readers stay on course. Music/Binge-worthy TV. A little background noise doesn’t hurt the process. Dead silence can sometimes be distracting for me. I need to get into a zone and music/TV does just that. My playlist places me in a mood to write out a scene. For example, if the part is based around romance; 90’s R&B sets the scene to put that tone on paper giving a true interaction between the characters. I have to be honest if it’s a good song I do tend to get lost in the music but a little break to enjoy a throwback jam doesn’t completely throw me off course.  If I’m not listening to the music playlists, I’m watching binge-worthy TV. It can’t be a new episode or a new movie because I’ll become invested. However, old episodes of Sex and the City gives me the perfect inspiration to create a narrative that readers will enjoy. Television is like moving books acted out in front of our eyes. I like to study body language during quick moments of silence. Those gestures are just as important as the dialogue. This is helpful to explain reactions, creating a dynamic between characters. Cocktail. Who doesn’t love a good beverage to take the edge off? I usually write late at night. During the day I’m so amped with running errands, working, planning, creating, etc., etc., etc. At night, I’m winding down to start the next phase of work, which is writing. And a nice libation settles me and the mood of the evening dedicated to writing.  Depending on the mood, evening, and whatever I have available, is a nice enhancement for good writing vibes. Although I can’t indulge too much because I need to stay on course. Moderation is key! Creative space. Luckily, I live alone. So, it’s convenient for me to find a space to sit and create. Even then, some places in my home can be a bit distracting. I turned my living room into my own creative haven. My writing desk sits by the window so that I can feed off the lights of the night. Simple yet motivated decorum surrounds me and I’m able to write with ease; developing chapters of the stories I want to tell.  A creative space is important to writers. A concentrative mind feeds off of peace and a unique utopia of one’s personal styling. However, I’ve even been able to find time to write in others places like on a flight. But that’s where my mood music kicks in and helps set the tone of what I want to put on paper. In a perfect world, all of these essentials at once would create the perfect environment to lay it all out on the chrome book. But at least two out of four works for me. What are your must-haves for writing or your creative work?  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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 Inspired by the book, Devastation or Destiny??? (The Settled Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series  Women are charged to “take whatever they can get” because of the myth that there’s not a lot of good men out there. That myth is FALSE! But what is true is that more than often, the good men aren’t paired with good women. Recipe for disaster in the end. However, not all relationships end because of infidelity and mind games. Some matches aren’t simply compatible with each other, and that’s okay. Whether its lifestyle choices, goals, and different views on how relationships operate, if it won’t fit in the long run, its best to know up front. But…there’s always that question of What if…? “He fits my heart, but doesn’t fit my life…” Scenario: You meet a guy, he says the right things, takes you on the perfect dates, engages in the most substance filled conversations. And on the other hand, he’s not into traveling, a strict homebody, and has traditional views on a woman’s place in the world. Now, if you love this, he’s the guy for you. What if you meet this type of guy and you’re the total opposite? You crave the adventure; you travel a lot for work; and is adapted to a more modernized version of women in the world. How do you continue the relationship without losing yourself? Do you let it go without feeling the pressure of living the rest of your life alone? Is there even room for compromise? A similar scenario was outlined in a few episodes of Girlfriends. Darnell was a good, hard-working man but he was happy where he was. Mya, on the other hand, was introduced to a different type of life which consisted of her going back to school to enhance her career, shopping at more expensive places, and living in another area (just to name a few). Overtime, influenced by her circle, she grew into being the opposite of him. Granted they’d been together since their teenage years. This ultimately resulted in the demise of their marriage. Now, the silver lining was that after a few years, they found their way back to each other.  Image Source: Everett Collection As we all know, life isn’t a sitcom, and these days, when it’s over, it over! Communication extends to adamantly demanding what you want/what you don’t want, forgetting about the potential growth of love, then moving on to the next. Which is not always a bad thing. Verbalizing your wants and needs out of life is a great way to prevent wasting time. However, some may always think about the road not taken. I’ve had this fear of my own. Thinking I’d wake up one day in a great relationship yet unhappy because I’ve compromised way too much of myself to be in love. It appears that certain types of women have to choose between love and lifestyle. Why is that so? Why is it difficult to simply find your equal? Is there an unspoken choice to make between loving yourself and loving another? “Maybe if I stick around, the tradeoff won’t be that bad…” In the book Devastation or Destiny???, Tanya didn’t leave after knowing that Kenneth was a “Traditional Man” while she preferred more adventure in her life. The love was way too great to let go. But was it really love or a sense of a controlling nature to mold her into his perfect idea of a woman? She found herself constantly contemplating and questioning whether or not her decision to live in a place where she didn’t want to call home. Along with him wanting to change her outlook on what married life should look like. All of this eventually resulted in the “Devastation”. The regret, heartbreak, and time invested into the relationship could have been avoided by her not giving in to his “rules”. Though in her eyes, the end of their love would yield greater pain compare to giving up the life she wanted. Over time, some relationships have evolved and both partners were able to grow together. Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world and often adults are stuck in their ways and a few of the aforementioned items are non-negotiable. The great dates, conversations, and time-spent are distant memories and someone is thrown back to the drawing board. No matter the choices made, the great thing about life, it’ll always work out for your benefit. Just keep living and loving yourself unapologetically.  Comment your thoughts below, and find out how “The Settled Heart” heals in the emotional romance story, “Devastation or Destiny???” Available NOW!   The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. $2 Sale at Goodwill Revived My Love for Jeans  My History with Jeans I’ve had a love/hate relationship with jeans over the years. It’s been quite difficult to find the right style and fit for me. Now, if I were shopping during the 80s, I’d probably find something just right. Now, jeans are cut to fit a variety of women’s sizes. Which is a great thing for the fashion choices for the everyday woman. But, I need my jeans to fit just right too! It had gotten so difficult to where I rotated three pairs of jeans for years. I even cut up old pairs I didn’t wear anymore into shorts and even tried to make my own version of ripped jeans…big FAIL. Growing tired of my denim search coming up empty-handed, I abandoned these garments. To my rescue, the rise of jeggings and stretch pants gave the right fit I wanted along with a variety of styles. Years passed, and I didn’t give those things a second glance.  Bargain Shopper I LOVE a good bargain. Wherever I shop, I’m filtering “Price Low to High” and clicking on Sale tabs. I also have an extension on my browser which helps me to find coupon codes and cashback savings. When I see an item for the original price, I will stalk it online until there’s a good sale. It’s like a sport for me. Continuing my love of bargaining, I frequent my local Goodwill store. There, I find all types of trinkets for the apartment and clothes to add to my closet. From vintage vinyl records to Fall coats. I will spend an entire day until I find what I need.  A Spark Reignited It wasn’t until I started thrifting at my local Goodwill store when I discovered a haven for jeans that were just for me. AND at a bargain. Browsing the isles one day, I decided to give the denim rack a chance. Priced at $9.99, I was confident I’d find something with the “Color of the Day” tag. (For those unfamiliar with shopping at Goodwill, you pick a clothing item that is tagged with the color of the day, automatic 40% off.) To my surprise, there were a great variety of jeans just my size, with the right fit. Now, what’s my “fit”? I’m a skin-tight jean wearer (yea, I’m sure that’s not in the fashion category). The lost love for jeans was hidden throughout those racks. Some with the 40% color tag. And these weren’t generic brands. The racks held jeans from great stores and brands such as Zara, Hollister, Bullhead Denim Co., and Top shop (just to name a few). Who would have thought that my denim fit treasure was within someone else’s “fashion trash”? Thank God they decided to give them away to provide me with a chance to wear jeans again.  An Even Better Surprise Taking a break from a laundry day, I decided to pop into Goodwill while my clothes were in the dryer. The first thing I looked for was the Color of the Day, but this time something different was posted. A $2 sign. Squinting my eyes to make sure I read it right, I imagined in my head what that could mean. It was too good to be true to think if whatever I find with the matching color tag would be $2 once I reach the register. The associate got on the loudspeaker and confirmed the “Too good to be true” luck that I stumbled upon. Rushing to the rack, the haven didn’t disappoint. Jeans, in my size, with the color of the day tag. Not one, not two, but three good pairs (which included a pair of ripped jeans…no more experiments). I also found a Ralph Lauren dress shirt for my nephew. A whopping total of $8 and some change, which would have cost eight to ten times more had I’d gone to the regular stores. It gets better. Thinking that it was a one-time deal for the holidays. I relished in my good finds and brushed it off as one fortunate shopping day. But on another random day, I walked in and found my $2 flyer friend posted on the wall. Since I had more time, I swept the racks for more jeans. Found another four pairs, and two stylish Fall jackets.
Many may find thrifting as getting “hand me downs” which can be a huge “no-no” for some. But thrifting is a relaxing activity that yields cost-effective results. (I live in NYC, even breathing is costly!) And if you’re as lucky as I am, you just might reignite a love of a garment that you swore off years ago. Me and jeans shall never part again.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  All last week, and even on Super Bowl Sunday, the Tri-State area had to deal with heavy snow. During these times I visit my weather app to check the temperatures in sunny areas…just dreaming. That’s how I weather storms, taking myself out of the current situation and remembering a time when things were peaceful. I think our happy moments aren’t just for that present time, it's to carry with us when storms come. Hold tight to the happy memories; make room for them by leaving behind bad memories, old arguments, and aggravating minutes that ruined your entire day. Stay warm and safe!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. Staring at a blank page  The usual routine of writing. You’ve made time on your schedule and stuck to the plan of sitting down to work on your project, blog, and/or book. You open your journal or computer then find yourself wracking your brain trying to fill the blank page with creative and profound words. Just something that will outdo your last body of work. Nothing comes to mind (except for personal errands you forgot to run or other aggravations from the day). You can’t think of what to put on the page to save your life. It's as if a bottleneck of creativity is deadlocked in traffic, waiting to reach your brain. Finger and neck stretches fail to do the trick. Looking around the room isn’t jogging your memory either. Eventually, you’re exhausted and you complain about it on Twitter or find something unproductive to do. It pains you to even think about it, but you love to write so why is this happening? According to an article published by Dudley Court Press (“The Most Common Causes of Writer’s Block”), there are four main reasons for Writer’s Block:
 What To Do To gain control over your Writer’s Block experience, here are some tips to incorporate into your creative process to overcome it and be ready to begin again: 1. Don’t force it. Making yourself write anyway will only result in words, sentences, and paragraphs that won’t flow with what you’re truly capable of. It’ll only stress you out further along the way. Understand that these feelings are part of the process and that it happens to all writers. You’re not a true writer until you say the words “I have writer’s block!” 2. Figure out what’s blocking you. Although normal, your Writer’s Block may be attributed to outside causes. Pinpoint what is going on inside that doesn’t allow you to focus. After identifying the problem, find healthy ways to eliminate them and put the writing away to do a few self-care activities. In the article previously mentioned, there are a few main causes of Writer’s Block. Reviewing those will help in determining what is hindering your process. Many times, our mind and bodies send a signal to alert that there’s something wrong. Explore those signs, dig deeper; they could be your saving grace in the long run. 3. Step away. Creativity is a process. It hits you when you least expect it, and you can't rush it. Although some authors/writers may be on deadlines, you have to give yourself time to step away and refuel. Include that time in your writing schedule, if possible. You can’t pour from an empty cup so taking a break is imperative. Don’t worry, once a creator; always a creator so the words, scenarios, and ideas WILL return. You just have to do what is necessary to allow your creativity to flow effectively and organic.  4. Get inspired: Take a walk/Read/Watch TV. A brief walk, giving your body fresh air can aid in clearing out the clutter in your mind. Along your walk, you may even feel a spark of inspiration just by passing through nature and/or city surroundings. Take in what you see and allow that to motivate you to get back to be descriptive in what you see and how it makes you feel. Reading also helps in Writer’s Block. All great writers are great readers. This is how we learn and grow within our respective genres. Sitting down with your favorite book can ignite inspiration better than sitting within your frustrations. TV isn’t just for binging on your favorite show. Various series, sitcoms, and movies can help you de-stress along with refueling the writing. Watch the characters and their gestures: describe each movement of the bodies and facial expressions. Find a way to relate to them and put it into words in your mind. Ask yourself: What made you laugh? What made you cry? What pulled out your inner emotions? The answers will often pull you back into focusing on developing your stories.  5. Journal your feelings. Take a breath and write down these feelings within the Writer’s Block experience. Go deep into how it’s making you feel and the random thoughts running through your mind at that time. Take heed to the emotions ranging from anxiety to anger. It doesn’t have to be an entire diary entry. Make a jot list of words that express what you’re feeling in the moment. This journal entry and/or list can help you once you get back in the saddle to writing. Developing a character based on your Writer’s Block emotions gives readers a real-time experience while exploring your words.  Whether it is a book, blog, open letter, long-form content, etc. you want to put out the best work you can. All of the causes, tips, and resolutions to combat Writer’s Block points to one common denominator…Taking care of yourself. Mental, physical, and emotional health is important to all facets of your life. Even within creative works. Pay attention to the warning signs of your brain feeling cluttered and overwhelmed. Pay attention to your body when it feels sluggish. Pay attention to the frustration you feel. Yes, your fans can’t wait to read your next piece. But you want to live to enjoy the raving reviews! Lastly, always remember that Writer's Block doesn't mean you're finished. One day, one week of nothing on a page does not end one’s career. Rest up, then get back in the game!  Share your tips below! What do you do when you experience Writer’s Block?  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and adventures!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Latest book from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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