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$2 Sale at Goodwill Revived My Love for Jeans  My History with Jeans I’ve had a love/hate relationship with jeans over the years. It’s been quite difficult to find the right style and fit for me. Now, if I were shopping during the 80s, I’d probably find something just right. Now, jeans are cut to fit a variety of women’s sizes. Which is a great thing for the fashion choices for the everyday woman. But, I need my jeans to fit just right too! It had gotten so difficult to where I rotated three pairs of jeans for years. I even cut up old pairs I didn’t wear anymore into shorts and even tried to make my own version of ripped jeans…big FAIL. Growing tired of my denim search coming up empty-handed, I abandoned these garments. To my rescue, the rise of jeggings and stretch pants gave the right fit I wanted along with a variety of styles. Years passed, and I didn’t give those things a second glance.  Bargain Shopper I LOVE a good bargain. Wherever I shop, I’m filtering “Price Low to High” and clicking on Sale tabs. I also have an extension on my browser which helps me to find coupon codes and cashback savings. When I see an item for the original price, I will stalk it online until there’s a good sale. It’s like a sport for me. Continuing my love of bargaining, I frequent my local Goodwill store. There, I find all types of trinkets for the apartment and clothes to add to my closet. From vintage vinyl records to Fall coats. I will spend an entire day until I find what I need.  A Spark Reignited It wasn’t until I started thrifting at my local Goodwill store when I discovered a haven for jeans that were just for me. AND at a bargain. Browsing the isles one day, I decided to give the denim rack a chance. Priced at $9.99, I was confident I’d find something with the “Color of the Day” tag. (For those unfamiliar with shopping at Goodwill, you pick a clothing item that is tagged with the color of the day, automatic 40% off.) To my surprise, there were a great variety of jeans just my size, with the right fit. Now, what’s my “fit”? I’m a skin-tight jean wearer (yea, I’m sure that’s not in the fashion category). The lost love for jeans was hidden throughout those racks. Some with the 40% color tag. And these weren’t generic brands. The racks held jeans from great stores and brands such as Zara, Hollister, Bullhead Denim Co., and Top shop (just to name a few). Who would have thought that my denim fit treasure was within someone else’s “fashion trash”? Thank God they decided to give them away to provide me with a chance to wear jeans again.  An Even Better Surprise Taking a break from a laundry day, I decided to pop into Goodwill while my clothes were in the dryer. The first thing I looked for was the Color of the Day, but this time something different was posted. A $2 sign. Squinting my eyes to make sure I read it right, I imagined in my head what that could mean. It was too good to be true to think if whatever I find with the matching color tag would be $2 once I reach the register. The associate got on the loudspeaker and confirmed the “Too good to be true” luck that I stumbled upon. Rushing to the rack, the haven didn’t disappoint. Jeans, in my size, with the color of the day tag. Not one, not two, but three good pairs (which included a pair of ripped jeans…no more experiments). I also found a Ralph Lauren dress shirt for my nephew. A whopping total of $8 and some change, which would have cost eight to ten times more had I’d gone to the regular stores. It gets better. Thinking that it was a one-time deal for the holidays. I relished in my good finds and brushed it off as one fortunate shopping day. But on another random day, I walked in and found my $2 flyer friend posted on the wall. Since I had more time, I swept the racks for more jeans. Found another four pairs, and two stylish Fall jackets.
Many may find thrifting as getting “hand me downs” which can be a huge “no-no” for some. But thrifting is a relaxing activity that yields cost-effective results. (I live in NYC, even breathing is costly!) And if you’re as lucky as I am, you just might reignite a love of a garment that you swore off years ago. Me and jeans shall never part again.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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 All last week, and even on Super Bowl Sunday, the Tri-State area had to deal with heavy snow. During these times I visit my weather app to check the temperatures in sunny areas…just dreaming. That’s how I weather storms, taking myself out of the current situation and remembering a time when things were peaceful. I think our happy moments aren’t just for that present time, it's to carry with us when storms come. Hold tight to the happy memories; make room for them by leaving behind bad memories, old arguments, and aggravating minutes that ruined your entire day. Stay warm and safe!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. Staring at a blank page  The usual routine of writing. You’ve made time on your schedule and stuck to the plan of sitting down to work on your project, blog, and/or book. You open your journal or computer then find yourself wracking your brain trying to fill the blank page with creative and profound words. Just something that will outdo your last body of work. Nothing comes to mind (except for personal errands you forgot to run or other aggravations from the day). You can’t think of what to put on the page to save your life. It's as if a bottleneck of creativity is deadlocked in traffic, waiting to reach your brain. Finger and neck stretches fail to do the trick. Looking around the room isn’t jogging your memory either. Eventually, you’re exhausted and you complain about it on Twitter or find something unproductive to do. It pains you to even think about it, but you love to write so why is this happening? According to an article published by Dudley Court Press (“The Most Common Causes of Writer’s Block”), there are four main reasons for Writer’s Block:
 What To Do To gain control over your Writer’s Block experience, here are some tips to incorporate into your creative process to overcome it and be ready to begin again: 1. Don’t force it. Making yourself write anyway will only result in words, sentences, and paragraphs that won’t flow with what you’re truly capable of. It’ll only stress you out further along the way. Understand that these feelings are part of the process and that it happens to all writers. You’re not a true writer until you say the words “I have writer’s block!” 2. Figure out what’s blocking you. Although normal, your Writer’s Block may be attributed to outside causes. Pinpoint what is going on inside that doesn’t allow you to focus. After identifying the problem, find healthy ways to eliminate them and put the writing away to do a few self-care activities. In the article previously mentioned, there are a few main causes of Writer’s Block. Reviewing those will help in determining what is hindering your process. Many times, our mind and bodies send a signal to alert that there’s something wrong. Explore those signs, dig deeper; they could be your saving grace in the long run. 3. Step away. Creativity is a process. It hits you when you least expect it, and you can't rush it. Although some authors/writers may be on deadlines, you have to give yourself time to step away and refuel. Include that time in your writing schedule, if possible. You can’t pour from an empty cup so taking a break is imperative. Don’t worry, once a creator; always a creator so the words, scenarios, and ideas WILL return. You just have to do what is necessary to allow your creativity to flow effectively and organic.  4. Get inspired: Take a walk/Read/Watch TV. A brief walk, giving your body fresh air can aid in clearing out the clutter in your mind. Along your walk, you may even feel a spark of inspiration just by passing through nature and/or city surroundings. Take in what you see and allow that to motivate you to get back to be descriptive in what you see and how it makes you feel. Reading also helps in Writer’s Block. All great writers are great readers. This is how we learn and grow within our respective genres. Sitting down with your favorite book can ignite inspiration better than sitting within your frustrations. TV isn’t just for binging on your favorite show. Various series, sitcoms, and movies can help you de-stress along with refueling the writing. Watch the characters and their gestures: describe each movement of the bodies and facial expressions. Find a way to relate to them and put it into words in your mind. Ask yourself: What made you laugh? What made you cry? What pulled out your inner emotions? The answers will often pull you back into focusing on developing your stories.  5. Journal your feelings. Take a breath and write down these feelings within the Writer’s Block experience. Go deep into how it’s making you feel and the random thoughts running through your mind at that time. Take heed to the emotions ranging from anxiety to anger. It doesn’t have to be an entire diary entry. Make a jot list of words that express what you’re feeling in the moment. This journal entry and/or list can help you once you get back in the saddle to writing. Developing a character based on your Writer’s Block emotions gives readers a real-time experience while exploring your words.  Whether it is a book, blog, open letter, long-form content, etc. you want to put out the best work you can. All of the causes, tips, and resolutions to combat Writer’s Block points to one common denominator…Taking care of yourself. Mental, physical, and emotional health is important to all facets of your life. Even within creative works. Pay attention to the warning signs of your brain feeling cluttered and overwhelmed. Pay attention to your body when it feels sluggish. Pay attention to the frustration you feel. Yes, your fans can’t wait to read your next piece. But you want to live to enjoy the raving reviews! Lastly, always remember that Writer's Block doesn't mean you're finished. One day, one week of nothing on a page does not end one’s career. Rest up, then get back in the game!  Share your tips below! What do you do when you experience Writer’s Block?  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Walking away because it’s the right thing to do or staying with a forbidden love that feels so right. Blog inspired by the book, The Perfect Sin (The Selfish Heart), from the Heartbreak Diaries Series  When I was young, I learned that forbidden actions yield bad consequences. As I grew older, I found through experience that although doing wrong…is wrong; it could give great pleasure in certain circumstances. Whether or not that pleasure lasted, depended on the situation. But looking back on certain decisions, I can honestly say: “It wasn’t all bad.” When dealing with the matters of the heart, loving someone who may seem like that “wrong person” but right in your heart can result in conflicted feelings.  How can something that feels so good, causes you to hide it from the world? On paper, it's all bad. He can’t be touched, it isn’t right. He belongs to someone else. Why won’t he just leave if he’s unhappy, then focus on building with you? That would be easy, but when you fall fast and hard, it can be impossible to abruptly stop. Then there’s the million-dollar question of, Will he do that to you one day? In your mind, you have all the right answers… …but in your heart, it’s the fire that keeps it pumping. The touch that makes you come alive, and happiness one would never think of gaining. You know it’s real, but you’re afraid to tell anyone because in moral terms it's wrong to be in his company. So, it has to stay in secret. You’re in love and you want to shout it to the world, but there will be loads of backlash and judgment will be ready to come your way. Feeling this way doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but it’ll be hard to shake that reputation with your good acts moving forward. You’re living in it daily; toggling with what’s morally right and wrong. All the while fighting the urge to simply stay away. What kind of love is this? It’s a selfish love with the unintentional pain pushed onto an innocent party. It turns into Love and War. A war that may end in a heart casualty. Knowing that someone is at risk of being alone and heartbroken should be enough to walk away. But why deprive your own heart just to please someone you don’t even know? A few may say the right thing should be done out of respect, besides, because karma knows all of our addresses. But when happiness and real love are involved, those instances are moved further away from your mind; killing the moral fibers. The heart is released and a great love affair commences. You soon give in, understanding that you too, deserve the romantic love.  Is There A Cure? The cure for the entanglement of whether to go with your heart or your mind isn’t always easy. It’s a big risk as in either case, you could end up alone. The karma may come causing a massive heartbreak OR you walk away knowing you’ve done the right thing but spending lonely nights wondering what could have been. Unpopular Opinion These thoughts are honest and vulnerable. As irresponsible as they may sound, people deal with these mental conflicts more often than they’d like to admit. It's best to find a safe space to sort out these feelings and make the best decision for yourself. You don’t want to look back and regret going down an unknown road that leads to pain. How to deal? It's up to you. This is a non-judgment zone.  The Selfish Heart In the book, The Perfect Sin, Jennifer is faced with a conundrum. Meeting the man of her dreams who just happens to be attached. All of the good ones are. However, she finds that the love she has for him is equally reciprocated. Falling in love with an “untouchable” man can be quite costly. And throughout the story, she’s faced with the price and the questions of if it’s worth the “sin”. About The Perfect Sin Jennifer's life was on the brink of gaining full control in all areas until a series of losses, (job, livelihood, love, independence) threw her into a downward spiral. Climbing her way back up, she meets "him". Darren appears to have his eye on career and family only, but Jennifer wants his focus on her. It was innocent in the beginning, but a sinister force draws her to a man that is not available. He doesn't resist, equally giving into the force, slowly pulling them into a love that was not supposed to happen.  Dive into the SIN with the latest release from the Heartbreak Diaries Series. Preview the book The Perfect Sin HERE!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. I found a new place of peace in the midst of what gives me anxiety  Usually, plane rides give me anxiety. Which is weird because I LOVE to travel, but I suck it up and drink a cocktail to ease the nerves. Since COVID-19, cocktail hour has been eliminated on flights and I’ve had to find new ways to channel the anxiety by thinking positive thoughts, thinking about being anywhere else but on the plane, and deep breathing. My latest flight from my hometown in Georgia was a bit different. I took an evening flight home and I experienced something like never before. Peace on a Plane. Take off didn’t have me grabbing the armrests like a baby clenching to his mother. And I was intrigued with the working mechanisms of a plane. I felt fine and enjoyed my window seat, peering out onto the earth where we reside.  I saw the sun setting on my side of the planet and preparing to rise on another part of the world, while the moon took center stage in giving light. Buildings were illuminated below displaying a sky view of the world continuing to keep moving during the moon’s grand performance. Then, there was an “ah-ha” moment. “Wow this is God’s creation, and it's beautiful.” I never saw the skies like that before, especially during the evening turning into night.  As we elevated above the clouds, those balls of gas were as beautiful as the colors of the sunset. It was amazing to see, like a real-life science lesson as I took the same ride home as I’ve taken many times before. Turbulence hit, and I didn’t care. The captivating views made me one with the clouds. Floating and exploring through the wind. I tried to take pictures, but the iPhone just didn’t capture what my eyes could see.  An hour and a half later, we descended to land, and I wanted to see more. I wasn’t ready for the show to end nor the lights to come on with announcements. But I was grateful for that time in the air. Peace was all over me and I came home with more motivation to appreciate everything around me. Even the cold winds that makes me bundle up as I take a walk to my destinations. Planet Earth is beautiful in all its splendor, and I experienced it first-hand.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!"
- The Blakk Dahlia Latest book from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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