 Staying grounded in the final stretch.Summer is rolling on out. Even the sun is starting to leave us a little early in the evening. ‘Twas a fun and eventful one…but not without chaos and nerve-racking twists and turns that may have thrown us off course. In times like these, you need some technique(s) to stay grounded with the changing seasons. If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. ― Lao Tzu Try these grounding techniques to relieve fear and anxiety as we finish this year strong! Breathe. Take a few minutes to breathe. Deeply inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Pausing for a moment to breathe helps slow down the mind and body. Positive Affirmations. Positivity is key. Although cliché, your mindset sets the tone for how you will handle your days. Filling it with affirmations reminds us of who we are and our capabilities. Flushing out negative thoughts brings clarity to many situations, giving us time and energy to resolve and/or cope with whatever is right in front of us.
Laugh. Laughter cures more than we know. A small chuckle or a big guffaw can relax the muscles, relieving the tension and stress that is festering in your body. Go look at that funny video that brings a big smile to your face or a meme on social media that puts a humorous spin on the current event. If your situation isn’t a laughing matter, replace it with a few seconds of an entertaining distraction. There’s nothing we can do about what’s out of our control. Worrying won’t solve it. Reliving won’t solve it. Staying still and focusing on what’s around us allows time to enjoy the present without the clutter of What to do…What should I have done?  How Do You Stay Grounded? Share your techniques in the comments!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.
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A mini-session over the Hudson River  During the months of being quarantined, I was becoming unraveled and suffocated, just to stay healthy and safe. Although the city has begun slowly reopening; there isn’t much for me to do to rid myself of cabin fever. A fever that lasted throughout the Winter, Spring, and seeping into the Summer. Along with being antsy to get out, there were so many emotions traveling through me. Feeling stagnant in my career, overworked, under-served, but still wearing the guilt of “You can’t complain because at least you still have a job…”. I read a tweet that said, it’s okay to be grateful but not satisfied. It gave me a little relief in my mental confusion of what’s okay to feel. My home became my place of work. And who likes being at work 24/7? Not me. Having my laptop in the corner staring me down, reminding me of what to work on the next day clouded every other creative project I planned to work on. It also didn’t help that the creative outlets were shut down and forced to be online only. Though I made a way to be slightly productive, I didn’t feel as if those strides were getting me anywhere. Mornings turned into evenings while my mind became frustrated and completely exhausted.  The Resolution I tried hanging out on the weekends by taking early day walks. It worked, a little, then I got into the routine of overly spending at restaurants because I was so excited that I could at least have dinner and drinks (outside dining only). To me, I didn’t want to create a new habit (or dig up an old one) by trying to move away from being in this unsettled head space. Then, it hit me. Just go to the park, sit down, and BREATHE! I forgot about a habit I wrote about over a year ago, “Hudson Inspirations”, where I sat by the river watching boats. There are no thoughts of what do I need to do, how am I getting it done, or why am I doing this again? Just peace.
I headed over to Riverbank State Park and joined the many New Yorkers who too had the itch to get out (socially distancing of course), to begin a therapeutic process of cleansing my mind. There weren’t many boats on the water but the gorgeous view of New Jersey looking back at me and the river flowing did the trick. All of a sudden, I received a bonus. The sun was at its peak, the sky was clear and my eyes were captivated on its position. Throughout the afternoon/evening, a canvas opened up to the sunset and beautiful colors painted the sky.  I felt peace and a chance to just breathe. Yea, a few stressful tidbits snuck in, but they were pushed out by the warmth of the sun and continuous views of natural beauty. Inhaling and exhaling is more than keeping your body going, it’s for the mind as well. In any physical activity, we’re told to keep breathing. Why not apply that to the mind. That’s what I learned throughout my mini “Sky Therapy” session. I didn’t have to talk and spill my guts to a stranger, nor relive what bothered me in my head. The skies’ movement happening right before my eyes reminded me to keep breathing. (Of course, I did a little “People Watching” at the park as well. New York is FILLED with interesting characters!)  So, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, just look up and allow the sky to help in releasing the mind’s racing thoughts that may have crept in during Quarantine Season.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING! Are you taking care of yourself? Anything that will take care of your body. Pampering yourself is a good key to relaxing. Take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you. Here's your reminder to cease everything else and schedule time to take care of YOU! Here are a few ideas to kick-off you Self-Care Routines:
Add these to your self-care plans & Share your routines and ideas! And don't forget to wash your hands!!  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  Picture this: Your email is filling up with junk. Irrelevant information, solicitations, scams, useless junk. You can't even get to the emails that are important due to the clutter. What do you do? Unsubscribe. You have to do that in life as well. We tend to humor people, conversations, and events that are of no interest and value to us. Why? Why do we give into the pressures of useless banter? The clutter stops today! Unsubscribe to people, places, and things that stress you out and doesn't serve you. You don't have to engage in gossip conversations just to belong. There's no need to listen to "frenemies" put you down because they feel inferior. Don't engage in the small talk that irks your soul. It's okay to say "no thanks", "I'm not interested", or "I'll sit this one out". Your peace is worth more than pleasing those who are only thinking of themselves. You're not obligated to anything outside of what makes you happy and elevates you. It only clutters your mind, keeping you from the important passions that feeds your soul. Go on...PRESS THE BUTTON.  The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.  You have to put yourself on work restriction to replenish! Going and going and going and more going! Does the daily work ever end? NO! But, you have to put it on pause to catch a breather. If you don’t, your body will remind you why rest is needed. I wake up, lay in bed to think about the million things I have to do for the day. Then, OH I’m running late! Shower time, find an outfit. It’s cold out so I need to layer up. Where’s my gloves? Found them. Do I have my keys? Already packed them. Wait…Metro card! Out the door and on to the awesome MTA Subway ride. Fighting for a seat, or even a space, is a tiresome task in itself, but the joys of reaching my destination helps to forget about the commute aggravation.  On the to office to update websites and do a little writing/editing work in between. AND managing the magazine, answering emails. Lunch time, gotta get back on the train to hit an audition. Back to the office to finish the day. Then, evening rush hour. Another fight on the train. Wait, I have to eat. Do I have food at the house? Nope, forgot to go grocery shopping. Stand in a long line with other annoyed 9-5ers with kids running around. Uggh I just want to go home! Time for winding down? Absolutely NOT, gotta hit the computer to finish the tasks set for the day. Of course, here comes a curve ball….This goes on until about 3AM and get a few hours of sleep before its time to wake up and do it all over again. Who can manage a healthy life with all of this?!?! I know I can’t. However, my body stepped in, and took control. Control in the sense of shutting down. Fatigue, headaches, stomach pains, and even a little memory loss. Feeling overwhelmed and tired before I could get out of bed, was the body’s way of saying…Chick, you’ve GOT to slow down and take care of me. I do my Self-Care Sundays…okay I’ll admit I’ve slacked off. All of this to say, when you’re going 500 miles a minute, you can’t make this a daily habit. To remedy the results of burnout, I have to readjust my time management. Along with sneaking in some self-care and yoga/meditation in between to silence my mind. I have many things on my plate (not complaining, I LOVE it), but I am in my 30s, and no normal human can unction like this without properly resting.  Here’s a few ideas to kick-back and relax the mind and body: (Yes, I need to take my own advice. Let’s do this together!) Watch a funny show or movie. Laughter IS the best medicine. It releases the pains of whatever has “grinded your gears”; clearing the mind of bad thoughts. Laughing out loud can help cure any bad day. My shows of choice, Frasier, Schitt’s Creek, Paternity Court (they have hilarious episodes), Golden Girls, and just about any reality show you can find! Rest in Silence. Turn off your TV, phone, computer, and your MIND. Stop thinking so much. I tend to overthink EVERYTHING. Creating outlandish scenarios that never happens all because of past experiences, or just my mind running away from me. Thinking too much causes stress, and doesn’t help when you need to focus on work. Just calm down and into space for a few minutes. Self-Care. Soak your feet in Epsom salt to release the toxins of traveling through the city by foot, or give yourself a much needed facial. Anything that will take care of your body. Pampering yourself is a good key in relaxing. Take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you. Don’t allow others to pressure you to rush. Yes deadlines are important, but some things can wait. Just because the other party is on a quick timeline (or like to appear go be. Honestly, they’re fumbling to get themselves together as well), doesn’t mean you have to run yourself crazy. Set up your calendar to follow-up when its convenient for you. There’s nothing wrong with a few calls going to voicemail. Prioritize what’s important, and what can wait until you’ve had time to clear your mind. Limit your time on “the media”. Whether you know it or not, social media kills your expectations and goals for yourself. By constantly scrolling through other’s success stories or tales of having it all together, you feel the pressure of not working hard enough. I read a good meme once, it said: “Don’t let the internet rush you.” Newsflash, nobody has it all together. So what if they’ve accomplished a goal that you’re working towards. Their shine doesn’t dim your light, nor take away from your final destination. YOU WILL GET THERE ON YOUR TIME! Also, scrolling through timelines, only takes away from your own working hours and relaxation time. Breathe. Take deep breaths in, and slowly exhale. Ask yourself, did you RELAX today?   The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey. |
"I LOVE to write and create. These are the diaries of how I work and deal in my world of writing and LIFE!"
- The Blakk Dahlia from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
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