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Get Me Out of Here!

8/22/2020

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​Chronicles of a Solo Vacation in Puerto Rico
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In continuing to “get back to me”, I decided to take a breather. My choices were to take a few days off from work and stay home OR take this show on the road with a solo vacation. I have travel buddies, but I’ve always wanted to explore a new place alone. I see it as sort of a challenge and since it was super last minute, I didn’t want the trip to be based on whether or not someone could attend with me. The ironic thing is that stress, work, and COVID messing up my Summer creative plans led me to take this time away, which paid off big time for my mental health.
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Throughout my search for deciding where to go, I wanted to visit a place I’d never been to. My choices were Venice Beach, CA; Somewhere else in California, and Puerto Rico. Long story short, Puerto Rico won. Although I was all set for a nice vacay on a beautiful island, there were certain protocols in place to get into the island:
  • Fill out a travel declaration form
  • Take a COVID test 72hrs before boarding the plane (Results were negative yay!)
  • Wear a mask everywhere (Easy, I do it all the time in NYC)
  • And adhere to the curfew guidelines 

The usual vacation for me is tourist attractions in the daytime, then at night….out to the streets for partying and dancing until the morning! But this time was different due to the mandatory curfew from the hours of 10 pm-5 am and certain tourist attractions were not open for business. At first, it was a downer but just as life aligns with what we need, I needed to stay in place. Plus, my Airbnb had the BEST patio, I could stay out there ALL NIGHT and I did!
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I was able to venture out into San Juan to explore the city along with patronizing restaurants with good food and drinks. The best part, Ocean Park BEACH! Who needs the nightlife when the beach gives the best vacation experience!?! I brought along my new tripod for pics (b/c it never happens if it doesn’t make it to the gram), drinks, and my music playlist. All ingredients to have regained peace, free me from worries, and throw them all into the ocean. As the sunset came, I headed to a good restaurant for more drinks and good food before retiring each day. 
Now, back to this lovely patio at my Airbnb. I never knew heaven could be on a balcony. Two hammock-style chairs, a dining room table to feel the breeze while I eat, and spacious areas to take good pics. My mornings were spent on the patio enjoying the fresh air and thinking of what I wanted to do that day. I stayed out there until 2 am, listening to music, face-timing friends, and watching one of my fav shows…Paternity Court with Lauren Lake! Everything I would do at home was magnified because of the refreshing atmosphere. 
It was very hard to leave this beautiful place and I’m already making plans to return before the end of the year. I accomplished everything I wanted by clearing my mind, relaxing, and just living in moments with beautiful views. My first solo vacay was a complete success. 
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Thank you, Puerto Rico!
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The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Sky therapy

8/11/2020

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A mini-session over the Hudson River
sky therapy blog by the blakk dahlia, hudson river, riverbank state park, nyc, harlem
During the months of being quarantined, I was becoming unraveled and suffocated, just to stay healthy and safe. Although the city has begun slowly reopening; there isn’t much for me to do to rid myself of cabin fever. A fever that lasted throughout the Winter, Spring, and seeping into the Summer. Along with being antsy to get out, there were so many emotions traveling through me. Feeling stagnant in my career, overworked, under-served, but still wearing the guilt of “You can’t complain because at least you still have a job…”. I read a tweet that said, it’s okay to be grateful but not satisfied. It gave me a little relief in my mental confusion of what’s okay to feel.
 
My home became my place of work. And who likes being at work 24/7? Not me. Having my laptop in the corner staring me down, reminding me of what to work on the next day clouded every other creative project I planned to work on. It also didn’t help that the creative outlets were shut down and forced to be online only. Though I made a way to be slightly productive, I didn’t feel as if those strides were getting me anywhere. Mornings turned into evenings while my mind became frustrated and completely exhausted.

nyc, the blakk dahlia blog, hudson river, riverbank state park, harlem new york city
The Resolution
I tried hanging out on the weekends by taking early day walks. It worked, a little, then I got into the routine of overly spending at restaurants because I was so excited that I could at least have dinner and drinks (outside dining only). To me, I didn’t want to create a new habit (or dig up an old one) by trying to move away from being in this unsettled head space. 

Then, it hit me. Just go to the park, sit down, and BREATHE! I forgot about a habit I wrote about over a year ago, “Hudson Inspirations”, where I sat by the river watching boats. There are no thoughts of what do I need to do, how am I getting it done, or why am I doing this again? Just peace. 

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hudson river, riverbank state park, nyc, harlem, sunset
​I headed over to Riverbank State Park and joined the many New Yorkers who too had the itch to get out (socially distancing of course), to begin a therapeutic process of cleansing my mind. There weren’t many boats on the water but the gorgeous view of New Jersey looking back at me and the river flowing did the trick. All of a sudden, I received a bonus. The sun was at its peak, the sky was clear and my eyes were captivated on its position. Throughout the afternoon/evening, a canvas opened up to the sunset and beautiful colors painted the sky. 
hudson river, riverbank state park, nyc, harlem
I felt peace and a chance to just breathe. Yea, a few stressful tidbits snuck in, but they were pushed out by the warmth of the sun and continuous views of natural beauty. Inhaling and exhaling is more than keeping your body going, it’s for the mind as well. In any physical activity, we’re told to keep breathing. Why not apply that to the mind. That’s what I learned throughout my mini “Sky Therapy” session. I didn’t have to talk and spill my guts to a stranger, nor relive what bothered me in my head. The skies’ movement happening right before my eyes reminded me to keep breathing.

(Of course, I did a little “People Watching” at the park as well. New York is FILLED with interesting characters!)

the blakk dahlia, e alexcina brown, hudson river, riverbank state park, nyc, harlem
So, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, just look up and allow the sky to help in releasing the mind’s racing thoughts that may have crept in during Quarantine Season.  
The Blakk Dahlia, author logo, E. Alexcina Brown, Dahlia Diaries blog

The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Time to Reset Starting with You!

7/19/2019

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Snippets from the "7-Day Guide to Forget About Your Heartbreak"

This guide breaks down 7-Days of activities to get your mind refocused and help ease the frustrations of a heartbreak. Learn how to get back to YOU! ​Take care of you by refueling so that you can rejoin the world refreshed. Now go get over the heartbreak! You deserve it!
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"Why Do I Need This Again?"
Heartbreaks are unexpected and such a pain to get over. But it happens. It’s what you during the times of losing someone special that sets the tone of allowing the experience to make you better or bitter. Whether coming out of a dating situation or long-term relationship, adjustments are needed to get out of the mind frame of thinking like a couple to being okay with going about your days and nights…alone. 

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Meditation Monday.  Free Your Mind!
Mondays are deemed to be a drag. But they don’t have to be. Set your week in a new tone by starting a routine with taking care of the mind. As they say, wherever the head goes, the body will follow. By clearing your mind and regaining focus on what’s important, you make room for the positive vibes to freely flow. Giving in to the Monday blues will only allow the thoughts/feelings of your broken heart to make its way into your head. 

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Tacos and Talk Tuesday.
​Eat Your Heart Out with a Friend!

Heartbreaks can make you become reclusive. You don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, the world is shut out, and all you want to do is sit at home in bed, listening to your sad love song playlist. SNAP OUT OF THAT! Create an evening event where you catch up with a friend(s) over tacos. Because hey, who doesn’t like tacos? (If your friend isn’t excited about Taco Tuesday, let them go. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life! j/k).

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​Wisdom Wednesday. Elevate Your Knowledge!
You gotta keep your mind sharp. Why not devote a Wednesday evening to quenching that thirst for knowledge. Spend some alone time learning. Refuel our mind with knowledge and new conversation pieces with stepping outside of your normal gossip blog trolling. If you like trolling blogs, troll blogs that will help build your business OR blogs that will help you on your mediation Mondays. Anything that will feed you spiritually and/or intellectually. 

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Throw it Out Thursday. Delete and Delete!
Now it’s time to PURGE your phone! Along with social media, you can get caught up in scrolling through past photos of dates nights, random selfies, and those candid shots of him you took when he wasn’t looking. All of it is a recipe for reminiscing and wondering what could have been. You can’t move on with your life revisiting the past. It’s time to move those “souvenirs” out of sight. You gotta put away any reminders of “him” that will try to control your emotions. You can’t even find that funny meme you screenshot weeks ago because pictures of you and him are in the way. Free up that phone data!

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Fearless Friday. Time to Go For It!
We all have a road not taken or something that we’ve always wanted to do, but afraid to take that first step. Today is the day you move forward with courage. JUST START IT ALREADY! Take on the challenge of being fearless and do what you’ve been scared to do. 

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Sweat it Out Saturday. Weekend Work!
Yep, you knew it was coming. Time to work out! Sweat out the pain, bad memories, and heartbreak with a 30 mins to an hour session moving and challenging the body. Give your heart a break and go to bed with aching limbs instead. Saturdays are great for running errands, catching up on shows, and sleeping in. But you have to spend time working on your body. No pain, no gain right?

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Self Care Sunday. Get Your Glow Back!
Wind down your week with pampering yourself. From head to toe, give your body some much-needed nourishment with beauty regimens often skipped due to work, daily life, and other stuff that gets in the way. 
Sunday is about filling your body with the nutrients needed to provide you with a glow on the inside and out. Ending the week on a relaxing note can get your mind ready for meditation and moving on.


The Method Behind the Madness.
Other ways that may have worked in the past could be getting out there to date again, hanging out at bars every weekend, and occupying your time with friends. However, you’re not learning how to deal with yourself and your feelings. Ask yourself, how many times have you chosen the wrong guy to spend time with only to get over the last one? It’s a waste, it’s a bore, and it’s unfair to the “rebound guy”. And how many times have you forced yourself to hang out only to spend the night thinking about “him”? 
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Learn self-building ways to forget about past relationships by starting healthy new routines for the mind and the body!
Download the Full Guide HERE!
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Last Updated: 12/01/2020
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​The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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Favorite Things for Spring!

5/1/2019

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May is here and of course New York didn’t get the memo that the season has changed. I still have to pull out my big coat on some days, but I’ve enjoyed about a week of warm weather. Nothing wrong with a little tease for what’s to come. 

As I organize this apartment to put up these big sweaters…hoping one day for good, I’m finding more favs that are a must have for me to get into the Spring Season, while we wait for the weather to catch up.

So, here’s my list to continue the #mood of Spring!

Perfume Paint (Tease).
You can’t pass up on beauty products. Especially the ones that make you feel…SEXXY! That’s where my first item comes in. Strolling through Victoria’s Secret, I run across this brush on perfume. I’ve never seen a product like this before so I HAD to get it (AND it was on sale!). Getting it home and giving it a try, I was immediately impressed with the soft brush painting on this smooth, sensual fragrance by the name of Tease. A few pumps, then painting on those sacred areas, and I’m ready to own the night!
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Studded Faux Suede Flats from Forever21
Stylish Flats.
While owning the night, or the daytime for that matter, I need cute shoes to keep me moving through NYC. Heels are fun, but there’s no point in killing my feet to make a statement. A pair of stylish flats can make just as much noise as my pumps. For the times where I want to stay on my feet to enjoy the New York life, I pick out my fav pair from Forever21. Simple and sweet, but keeps me on my toes. LITERALLY!
A  Memorable Vacation.
Spring season means its time to cash in on those flyer miles or collect a stamp or two on the passport. A good vacay can ease you into a new season by purging the woes of winter. To kick of spring, me and my girls took a trip to Cuba! YES, Cuba! We spent three days in Havana enjoying back to back sight-seeing and activities like horseback riding, salsa lesson, a tour through a tobacco and coffee farm. Even got a history lesson by visiting a coffee plantation. The restaurants had great menu choices with free fish and tasty pleasures that can only be found in Cuba.
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​The last leg of the trip was spent at Varadero Beach, soaking up the sun, and taking in views of gorgeous blue water. So many good memories and a great disconnect from the daily routine of work, train commutes, and social media. I returned with new inspiration and a relaxed mind. Thank you Cuba!
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Chocolate Beer.
In the bar scene, I love trying new things. Venturing in midtown, I ran into a bar (The Ginger Man) and found a unique treat on the menu. Chocolate Beer! Otherwise known as Boulevard Chocolate Ale. Two of my favorite things mixed into one. Who knew chocolate could serve many purposes? 
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Boulevard Chocolate Ale from The Ginger Man
Spring is still in full effect and I’m ready to take on the new adventures of this season. 

Be sure to share YOUR favorite things to get you through Springtime!

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A Few of My Favorite Things!

1/16/2019

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my favorite things - the blakk dahlia lifestyle blog
I want to share a few gifts.  Sharing is caring right? Everyone has their own list of “must haves”, new discoveries, and trinkets for sentimental reasons. I’d like to expose a few of mine :). Hopefully these will give you new ideas, inspos, or even a confirmation that there’s another addict in your section ;).

Ready? Here goes…

alexcina brown at new york fashion weekPhoto Credit: Chris Bowdrie (STAR45)
Anything That Sparkles.
I LOVE to shimmer! Who doesn’t. Whether it’s glitter or sequins, I NEED IT!. Clothes, shoes, and accessories with sparkle is automatically on my list (usually ending up in my shopping cart). Any and every occasion requires a hint of shine. A regular day strolling through the city or a night out in Manhattan, looking for Sex and the City vibes.

I have my fav pair of sparkle boots. Found them on sale at Forever 21. They were the last pair, just my size and when I took them to the register, they were half off of the sale price! I knew it was meant to be!

More sparkles in my collection includes an iridescent sparkle purse I mix with a cute outfit along with my go to black sequin purse I throw on with casual wear OR date night.

For New Years 2019 Celebration, I found another gem at Forever 21, these gold sequin pants. (I like to call them my disco pants). Bringing in the New Year with a sassy shine, hitting the town in ATL.
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Give me sparkle; give me a shine and I know I’m in for a great time!

sequin purses from rainbow shops
Faux Fur.
Something cute that goes great with my sparkle-fits or a warm greeting to my feet in the mornings as I get out of bed...Faux fur makes the list.

I look forward to cold weather as I get to pull out my coats to strut around in the low temperatures of NYC. Cozying up to my stylish faux fur, while hitting the town only adds to the excitement of taking on the night.
At home, my faux fur serves me well. Decorating my floors with an accent rug to keep my feet warm, along with adding a little spice to the New York living.
print model, alexcina brown in faux fur
Photo Credit: Tosin Photography
alexcina brown in faux fur, self-portraits, new york models, black models, nyc
From my "Self-Portraits" Project
Body Suits.
Got body?...Suits I mean. Leaving my legs to put on a show, body suits are a sensual given when wanting to look cute around the house, or add to your fav pants or skirt.
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Photo shoot time and can’t figure out what to wear, my first “go-to” is a body suit and a pair of thigh high socks, then the “fit” comes together around that.

I like a variety of body suits that includes lace, sheer material, patterns, or just a plain cotton solid color to give a pop to a pair of fitted jeans. This gem is a good alternative to wearing shirts that you’d like to tuck in. No worries of it coming un-tucked of spending time in the mirror, tucking and un-tucking for that perfect look. Just put on the go!

Being lazy around the house and I wanna feel cute? I go to my stash of body suits to have a Friday night chill time with wine and catching up on my shows. Who says you have to look “bummy” for a solo evening at home!?!
alexcina brown in body suit and braids
from Self-Portraits Project
alexcina brown in body suit and braids
Photo Credits: KLowe Photography
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Chrome Book (Beasley).
My old laptop houses all of my creative works, books, other writing work, pictures, and everything else that I need to save for business and personal. With the years of wear and tear, my poor laptop decided to show its age and slowly fall apart. In addition, it's a bit big and too much to carry around with me.

As a birthday day gift to myself, I bought an HP Chrome Book. All white, touch screen, with the capabilities to turn into a tablet should I choose to use it that way. This Chrome Book was such a life saver, I decided to name him “Beasely”. (And he’s also my temp boyfriend since we spend a lot of time together).

It’s small, convenient and I can do everything on this contraption as I did with my laptop. Now I can grab my “boo” and spend time at a coffee shop, laundry mat, plane ride, or anywhere to create and stay up to date with my projects.

manhattan martini from STK New York City
Manhattan Martini.
We all have our “regular” drinks when we can’t think of anything else on the menu. Mine is the usual Rum and Coke. However, some nights I want to sip sexy. That’s when the Manhattan Martini comes into play.
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One of my fav martinis 🍸 the “Manhattan”. Made with whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters. Rye whiskey is my fav with this drink.

This special one is from STK Midtown in NYC, “Not Your Daddy’s Manhattan” (George sickle rye, zinfandel port, carpano antics sweet vermouth and bitters.) very tasty and a nice complement to a Sex and the City style dinner with your girl! You’re welcome! 😉.

lemon water in pitcher, lemon water
Lemon Water.
To detox the libations,  and to cool down, I LOVE making lemon water. It helps me to cut back on sodas and sugary drinks. This refreshing beverage also helps with clearing up your skin, acts as a good source of Vitamin C to protect your immune system, AND it’s a great digestive agent.
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Quick and easy to make so it is always available to go with a good meal or a parched moment. ;)

So there you go, a few of my favorite things. Of course there's more to the list but I won't bore you with my long list of "can't go withouts".
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Tell me, what are YOUR favorite things and why? Let me know in the comments below!
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Updated: December 10, 2020

​The Blakk Dahlia (E. Alexcina Brown) is a New York City author/blogger from Macon, GA. Recently, she released the book series, the Heartbreak Diaries outlining different perspectives of heartbreak. The Dahlia Diaries is a lifestyle blog penned by The Blakk Dahlia, sharing her story in NYC along with life lessons and tips she's learned in her journey.

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    Author and lifestyle blogger, The blakk dahlia (e. alexcina brown)
    "I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!" 
    - The Blakk Dahlia
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