You have to put yourself on work restriction to replenish!
Going and going and going and more going! Does the daily work ever end? NO! But, you have to put it on pause to catch a breather. If you don’t, your body will remind you why rest is needed.
I wake up, lay in bed to think about the million things I have to do for the day. Then, OH I’m running late! Shower time, find an outfit. It’s cold out so I need to layer up. Where’s my gloves? Found them. Do I have my keys? Already packed them. Wait…Metro card!
Out the door and on to the awesome MTA Subway ride. Fighting for a seat, or even a space, is a tiresome task in itself, but the joys of reaching my destination helps to forget about the commute aggravation.
On the to office to update websites and do a little writing/editing work in between. AND managing the magazine, answering emails. Lunch time, gotta get back on the train to hit an audition. Back to the office to finish the day.
Then, evening rush hour. Another fight on the train. Wait, I have to eat. Do I have food at the house? Nope, forgot to go grocery shopping. Stand in a long line with other annoyed 9-5ers with kids running around. Uggh I just want to go home!
Time for winding down? Absolutely NOT, gotta hit the computer to finish the tasks set for the day. Of course, here comes a curve ball….This goes on until about 3AM and get a few hours of sleep before its time to wake up and do it all over again.
Who can manage a healthy life with all of this?!?! I know I can’t. However, my body stepped in, and took control. Control in the sense of shutting down. Fatigue, headaches, stomach pains, and even a little memory loss. Feeling overwhelmed and tired before I could get out of bed, was the body’s way of saying…Chick, you’ve GOT to slow down and take care of me. I do my Self-Care Sundays…okay I’ll admit I’ve slacked off.
All of this to say, when you’re going 500 miles a minute, you can’t make this a daily habit. To remedy the results of burnout, I have to readjust my time management. Along with sneaking in some self-care and yoga/meditation in between to silence my mind. I have many things on my plate (not complaining, I LOVE it), but I am in my 30s, and no normal human can unction like this without properly resting.
Here’s a few ideas to kick-back and relax the mind and body:
(Yes, I need to take my own advice. Let’s do this together!)
Watch a funny show or movie. Laughter IS the best medicine. It releases the pains of whatever has “grinded your gears”; clearing the mind of bad thoughts. Laughing out loud can help cure any bad day. My shows of choice, Frasier, Schitt’s Creek, Paternity Court (they have hilarious episodes), Golden Girls, and just about any reality show you can find!
Rest in Silence. Turn off your TV, phone, computer, and your MIND. Stop thinking so much. I tend to overthink EVERYTHING. Creating outlandish scenarios that never happens all because of past experiences, or just my mind running away from me. Thinking too much causes stress, and doesn’t help when you need to focus on work. Just calm down and into space for a few minutes.
Self-Care. Soak your feet in Epsom salt to release the toxins of traveling through the city by foot, or give yourself a much needed facial. Anything that will take care of your body. Pampering yourself is a good key in relaxing. Take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you.
Don’t allow others to pressure you to rush. Yes deadlines are important, but some things can wait. Just because the other party is on a quick timeline (or like to appear go be. Honestly, they’re fumbling to get themselves together as well), doesn’t mean you have to run yourself crazy. Set up your calendar to follow-up when its convenient for you. There’s nothing wrong with a few calls going to voicemail. Prioritize what’s important, and what can wait until you’ve had time to clear your mind.
Limit your time on “the media”. Whether you know it or not, social media kills your expectations and goals for yourself. By constantly scrolling through other’s success stories or tales of having it all together, you feel the pressure of not working hard enough. I read a good meme once, it said: “Don’t let the internet rush you.” Newsflash, nobody has it all together. So what if they’ve accomplished a goal that you’re working towards. Their shine doesn’t dim your light, nor take away from your final destination. YOU WILL GET THERE ON YOUR TIME! Also, scrolling through timelines, only takes away from your own working hours and relaxation time.
Breathe. Take deep breaths in, and slowly exhale.
Ask yourself, did you RELAX today?
And I LOVED every morsel of it!
Thanksgiving is centered on family and friends gathering on the specific holiday, laughing, cooking, and most importantly EATING. The day turns into night with long distant cousin catchup along with badgering questions from the elders pondering on your wedding date and when you’re starting a family. I don’t deal with that much as my Thanksgivings have been with my close family hopping form house to house tasting all of their special dishes.
My favorite holiday as it revolves around food was a bit different this year. Since I wasn’t able to get home to GA, I took a “me” day for the occasion. My plan was to cook m own style of Thanksgiving dinner along with enjoying good wine and relaxing. I did all three and then some.
The menu for the day was sweet, tasty, and simple. Cornish hens, free green beans, roasted red potatoes and spinach salad. Washing it all down with refreshing lemon water and Shiraz (my fav wine).
I woke up later than I had planned but luckily the grocery stores understand the importance of Thanksgiving procrastinators and the "forgetfuls". Obtaining my necessary ingredients, I hurried home to start on my meal.
It had been a while since I dabbled in Cornish hens however, when you’re good at something, it never goes away. Stuffing them with scallions, red, yellow, and green peppers. Topping it off with a variety of seasonings including garlic, Italian, seasoning salt and pepper. Rubbing the hens down with butter for that added flavor, and my babies were ready to bake! I love to mix red potatoes with onion seasoning wrapped with butter or oil. As far as the green beans, zesty seasonings, but not too much because I didn’t want to take away from that “freshness” taste.
As the gas stove prepared my meal, Golden Girl and Shiraz entertained me. I looked out of my window feeling grateful for how far I’ve come. Enjoying my New York apartment on a beautiful and blessed day!
After I was full of food, I retired with a hot shower, more episodes of Golden Girls and continuing the thoughts of thankfulness. Although I wasn’t able to see my family, I nice lengthy phone conversation eased my heart as they regaled in me actually cooking along with giving sass about me not preparing this meal for them. (I’m the baby of the family soooo, I wasn’t one to volunteer for the cooking duties.)
I had been looking forward to my solo Thanksgiving for a while and I’m very pleased with the result of the meal and the overall day.
Although the holiday for being thankful only comes once a year, we should put into practice of gratitude, peace, a good meal, and enjoying the blessings.
How did you spend your Thanksgiving? Share Below!
My night at an Inspirational Rock-Doc, Bohemian Rhapsody
I have a thing for 70s and 80s rock stars. The whole idea of letting go and laying it out on the stage. Being free to just be… One band who is amazingly legendary is Queen. A British four piece band of misfits, responsible for the classics of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Killer Queen” (my personal fav), “The Show Must Go On", "Another One Bites the Dust", “We Are the Champions”, and so much more to name. Queen pushed the envelope in music, showing that you don’t have to be one thing to fit the formula of the music industry. The band’s front-man, Freddie Mercury, was one of a kind. The way he put on a show was like none other. His voice was impeccable and can’t be duplicated. One look at him and you know he was born to do it!
On to Freddie.
You couldn’t tell me, Rami Malek, wasn’t Freddie Mercury. Hair and make-up did their part however, he brought it to life! You can tell thorough research was done and he was exceptional in re-creating Freddie’s life and performances. I hope he wins an Oscar for this one because this wasn’t some impression. Freddie was reincarnated right before our eyes!
We even got a glimpse into the genuine love story with him and Mary Austin. Although their engagement was broken off, they remained in each other’s lives and she was loyal to the end. He even left her a good portion of his estate to her after his death. (My exes only left me alone, but I wrote a book series about it so I’m good lol.)
Throughout the movie, I was left with nuggets of inspiration. To live the life you want to live, break barriers, and DO what they say you can’t. That’s how you become legendary. Not by silly antics for attention. Bohemian Rhapsody inspires me to keep going and to be the person I was meant to be and for that, I’ll always be grateful to Mr. Mercury. Thank you for your gifts, your voice, and your live out loud performances that I can watch, share, and cherish. You can’t watch this movie and NOT be inspired. This is a movie you MUST see!
Thank you Mr. Mercury!
Nobody warned me about this New York heatwave!
The month of June hit, the weather was heating up, which was a relief because of the never ending cold season. My crop tops were ready to come out and play. I spent the first sunset of summer chillin at Riverbank State Park as the beautiful colors of God’s creation painted the New York sky over the Hudson River. July came around and it started off good. Warm but not too hot. My box fan in the window, along with breezes climbing to my fifth floor, served me just fine.
Why did I have a fan and no central air nor an A/C? Welp in NYC some older building aren’t equipped with central heat and air and in order to cool your apartment down, you need a window unit. Didn’t buy one for my apartment because, as I said, the box fan served me just fine. Plus it’s New York, it’s mostly cold throughout the year. So I thought…
As the temperatures rose, the fan worked overtime to blow out hot air. Since my skin is so sensitive at the wrong times of the year, I suffered from clammy skin and heat bumps. In addition, letting my windows up not only allowed for sporadic breezes to flow, insects felt it was an open invitation to come join my “hot” party. Seeking refuge in my apartment as well as seeing me as a snack. And not the “snack” that’s sweeping the social media comments and captions.
One day while standing in front of my open freezer, I couldn’t take it anymore. I humped it around the corner to a local outlet store and found a window unit A/C. I’ve seen these things get installed before, no big deal right? Well before then, I had to get it home and up my 5-floor walkup. Taking my strength to walk it across the street, I realized that carrying this heavy cooling system was a no-go. Uber to the rescue!
Now it was time for me to get it up the stairs. Usually the walk-up doesn’t bother me but man I needed an elevator for a day like that. All in all, I took a deep breath and carried the A/C up the stairs, no breaks, no one randomly in the hallway asking if I need help. Just me. Reaching the door, I dragged that sucker in.
Installation time. My living room window was too big for the small unit. Didn’t realize that until I tried to screw in the final bolts. My bedroom window was the last resort. However, there was a road block. Bars screwed from the inside of the window, used as a guard for small children to prevent them from going out on the fire escape. Understandable but useless for me. I’m a grown up I don’t need it. After unscrewing the window guard I was ready to install the A/C. Late afternoon turned to evening as I adjusted, re-adjusted, and adjusted the A/C to make sure this thing wouldn’t fall out the window and break.
The big relief came when I plugged it in and the cool air flowed. After all my struggles, the cruel summer inside of my apartment was at an end. Well almost…
Remember the bug party? Well New York seems to have a different breed of mosquitoes that are uncommon in GA. And uncommon to my sensitive skin. One or two bites turned into allergic reactions on my legs. GREAT! So now I sit here, doused in calamine lotion hoping for this irritation to clear up before a modeling gig. A modeling gig that consists of me wearing summer wear and a swim suit. Will the madness ever end?
Definitely looking forward to the Fall. I shall never complain about a long winter ever again. I LOVE summer don’t get me wrong, but it can turn cruel on you in a split-second. Just when you’re getting comfortable. Stay cool peeps!
What’s your “Cruel Summer” story? Please share!
Desk Note from the Heartbreak Diaries Series.
You're not his woman, nor does he have the desire for you to be. You're just filling space until the original owner comes back OR until he finds a better fit. You know, the one he’d be willing to put in the work for. Not you though. I call this position, the seat filler. There's nothing wrong with you, he just doesn’t see you as "the one".
Now think of the responsibilities of a REAL seat filler. They attend the award show, get called to a particular seat if they have a certain look or just next in line. They can’t get too comfortable no matter how good the show is. The star returns, and the seat filler is escorted back to the holding area. THAT’S what you are in his life.
If you are fully aware of when you’re in this position and decide to move forward anyway, understand that it’ll never be a win/win situation. You won’t get “camera time” (No social media sightings), no red carpet appearances (date nights), and you’ll never be welcomed to the stage during the highlights of his life. And at the end of the night, when your duties are complete, you’ll be sent to the back before the show is over.
Don’t invest too much in this position. It’s just temporary fun. And know that you do have the option to get up and sit in a section that is meant for you.
I've often found myself in this position. So much to the point where I started recognizing that I was a seat filler and became "ok" with it. I understood that any day the phone calls and texts would stop, no more "quality time", no more intimate hugs in pubic. Whether I'd be warned beforehand or not, there would come a time when I would be forced to let go. Then I had the nerve to be shocked about it. But the ending would appear out of nowhere. When I wasn’t ready to let go. Like a roller coaster stopping the ride after the first big loop.
Oh that’s it?!
Over time I realized that, in a way, I inflicted this pain on myself. I knew the risks and I knew the results but I kept it going anyway.
On an episode of The Golden Girls I remember Blanche telling Rose: "Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we want it to, so we have to grab our happiness however we can get it". I used to live by this. Telling myself that if I couldn’t have him the way I wanted, I'd settle for whatever I could get.
But when does a person come to the point where the constant disappointment and heart ache is enough? If I’m just going to end up alone, why not stay that way. Why was I giving so much to someone who gave so little? Was I not worth more? Did he not understand that I’m worth more?
Doesn’t matter. I wasn’t it for him. For whatever reason, I didn’t do it for him. My only job was to “fill the space”.
So tell me. What section are you sitting in?
Welcome the HEARTBREAK!
Tap into the heartbreak and engage in the conversations many are too afraid to start with lovers...
Learn more about the Heartbreak Diaries Series!
E. Alexcina Brown
I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!