The Blakk Dahlia...But in this story she lives to tell it
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Photo Credit: Julius July Photography

Dahlia Talk: Love in Survival Mode

11/19/2019

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Do You Stay Where You Are...Or Take a Risk to Try Again?
Book Chat for the book, Devastation or Destiny???
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The Gamble
It's a crapshoot, in leaving "all you know" to venture out into the "unknown". In love, it's no different. Those who have left long-term relationships (for whatever reason) have jumped back into the dating world, only to find that they could have kept what they had. But, in a good moment, being in the right place at the right time, the Universe sprinkles that spark down on you placing you in fates hands. In the end, these moments reveal exactly why things didn't work out in the comfort zone of your heart.

Have You Ever Settled for Love out of Fear?
Everyone wants to love and to be in love. So much that they’ve accepted lowered standards or a life in which they didn’t desire, just to have that. In some cases, they live happily ever after. Although, there’s always that itch for something more, or what’s on the other side of that fear. 

We should never take “whatever” that is handed to us, due to the fear of being alone. The mind isn’t operating out a sense of self-awareness. It's in survival mode. And once in survival mode, you’ll do anything to hold on to that love. Even if it means a daily compromise of yourself with nothing in return. 
wedding bands
In Devastation or Destiny???, Tanya was faced with a BIG curveball which led to the demise of her relationship. One that she felt would last forever. In losing something so major, piled on top of the pain, humiliation, and lowered self-esteem; she was faced with an opportunity to start over. Then, the opportunity to go back to the comfort zone presents itself leaving her with the decision of, “What life do I choose? The one I want, OR the one in which I know how the story will end.”
devastation or destiny book
About Devastation or Destiny???
​(The Settled Heart)

Tanya found her happy ending, but it wasn’t the one she wrote. A lover of adventure and exploration found the heart of a hard-working traditional man. Kenneth is unwilling to take on her dreams, however, he gives the greatest love with no reservations. As their wedding day approaches, she finds herself thinking of what could have been. Did I give up on what I REALLY wanted too soon? 

Fearing that she’ll miss out on a chance of true love, Tanya gives in. But, the deep yearnings never end. The universe hears the inner cries of the life she wanted, as she prepares to take on a new life with Kenneth. Life eventually gives her want she truly wants but with a cost…Devastation! 

Thrown into dismay, Tanya finds herself starting over. Will the devastation be worth it? Or should she have been grateful for the “once in a lifetime love”?

The third “diary entry” from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series is Available NOW!

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Time to Reset Starting with You!

7/19/2019

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Snippets from the "7-Day Guide to Forget About Your Heartbreak"

This guide breaks down 7-Days of activities to get your mind refocused and help ease the frustrations of a heartbreak. Learn how to get back to YOU! ​Take care of you by refueling so that you can rejoin the world refreshed. Now go get over the heartbreak! You deserve it!
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"Why Do I Need This Again?"
Heartbreaks are unexpected and such a pain to get over. But it happens. It’s what you during the times of losing someone special that sets the tone of allowing the experience to make you better or bitter. Whether coming out of a dating situation or long-term relationship, adjustments are needed to get out of the mind frame of thinking like a couple to being okay with going about your days and nights…alone. 

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Meditation Monday.  Free Your Mind!
Mondays are deemed to be a drag. But they don’t have to be. Set your week in a new tone by starting a routine with taking care of the mind. As they say, wherever the head goes, the body will follow. By clearing your mind and regaining focus on what’s important, you make room for the positive vibes to freely flow. Giving in to the Monday blues will only allow the thoughts/feelings of your broken heart to make its way into your head. 

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Tacos and Talk Tuesday.
​Eat Your Heart Out with a Friend!

Heartbreaks can make you become reclusive. You don’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, the world is shut out, and all you want to do is sit at home in bed, listening to your sad love song playlist. SNAP OUT OF THAT! Create an evening event where you catch up with a friend(s) over tacos. Because hey, who doesn’t like tacos? (If your friend isn’t excited about Taco Tuesday, let them go. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life! j/k).

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​Wisdom Wednesday. Elevate Your Knowledge!
You gotta keep your mind sharp. Why not devote a Wednesday evening to quenching that thirst for knowledge. Spend some alone time learning. Refuel our mind with knowledge and new conversation pieces with stepping outside of your normal gossip blog trolling. If you like trolling blogs, troll blogs that will help build your business OR blogs that will help you on your mediation Mondays. Anything that will feed you spiritually and/or intellectually. 

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Throw it Out Thursday. Delete and Delete!
Now it’s time to PURGE your phone! Along with social media, you can get caught up in scrolling through past photos of dates nights, random selfies, and those candid shots of him you took when he wasn’t looking. All of it is a recipe for reminiscing and wondering what could have been. You can’t move on with your life revisiting the past. It’s time to move those “souvenirs” out of sight. You gotta put away any reminders of “him” that will try to control your emotions. You can’t even find that funny meme you screenshot weeks ago because pictures of you and him are in the way. Free up that phone data!

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Fearless Friday. Time to Go For It!
We all have a road not taken or something that we’ve always wanted to do, but afraid to take that first step. Today is the day you move forward with courage. JUST START IT ALREADY! Take on the challenge of being fearless and do what you’ve been scared to do. 

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Sweat it Out Saturday. Weekend Work!
Yep, you knew it was coming. Time to work out! Sweat out the pain, bad memories, and heartbreak with a 30 mins to an hour session moving and challenging the body. Give your heart a break and go to bed with aching limbs instead. Saturdays are great for running errands, catching up on shows, and sleeping in. But you have to spend time working on your body. No pain, no gain right?

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Self Care Sunday. Get Your Glow Back!
Wind down your week with pampering yourself. From head to toe, give your body some much-needed nourishment with beauty regimens often skipped due to work, daily life, and other stuff that gets in the way. 
Sunday is about filling your body with the nutrients needed to provide you with a glow on the inside and out. Ending the week on a relaxing note can get your mind ready for meditation and moving on.


The Method Behind the Madness.
Other ways that may have worked in the past could be getting out there to date again, hanging out at bars every weekend, and occupying your time with friends. However, you’re not learning how to deal with yourself and your feelings. Ask yourself, how many times have you chosen the wrong guy to spend time with only to get over the last one? It’s a waste, it’s a bore, and it’s unfair to the “rebound guy”. And how many times have you forced yourself to hang out only to spend the night thinking about “him”? 
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Learn self-building ways to forget about past relationships by starting healthy new routines for the mind and the body!
The full guide is FREE for email subscribers! Sign up Here.
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    Author and lifestyle blogger, The blakk dahlia (e. alexcina brown)
    Photo Credit: Joe Miles
    "I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!" 
    - The Blakk Dahlia

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