Get tips on how to cope with moving on, without getting caught up in the distraction. From the book, Rushing to Distraction (the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series)
A new day. A fresh start to move forward with your life. Although, thoughts of what’s left behind can’t seem to leave you to get the day going. Simple tasks, such as getting out of bed to head to the shower can throw you back into a mental time machine. Travelling to the days when things seemed good. A comfort zone that you were forced out of, usually for your own best interest, is the place where you want to be. Not the present. Instead, you’re missing out on the new blessings the morning can give you. New opportunities to step into a different direction filled with greater things. You know you need to move on, you may even want to move on, but the heart takes over and your stuck in distraction.
So what do you do? How can you deal with the new changes of something as simple as a morning routine?
Accept what is. But how? Make peace with the monkey wrench thrown into your plans. Understand that whatever you’re going through, in the end, it will be okay.
Just Do It.
To take a step into starting over, that’s what you have to do. Take the step. Yes you’ll want to grieve and/or reminisce but those days are over. You have to muster up the strength the shake the feelings of wanting what you once had.
What’s To Come.
Look forward to the unknown. Be happy and grateful with the adventures that lies ahead. You can’t enjoy new chapters, re-reading old ones.
It’s Okay To Feel.
Feelings makes you human. Feel the feelings but don’t get stuck in them. You HAVE to feeling it. Don’t hide behind the mask of “I’m Fine”. If you need to cry, cry it out. If you’re mad, be mad but don’t allow that anger to settle in your spirit. Take deep breaths, breathing out those feelings of regret, hurt, and inhale the ideals of newness.
Don’t Rush to the Distractions: Book excerpt from Rushing to Distraction
“Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wearing a damp towel, Farrah stares beyond her reflection. She sees beauty, passion, a giving heart, a loving spirit, and inner yearnings for love. Everything he doesn’t see in her. Her mind floods with questions. Did she try enough? Show enough? Give enough? Was SHE enough?”
In “Rushing to Distraction”, Farrah stayed within the feelings of getting distracted by what should have been. In her mind, she settled in the thoughts of what she wanted versus what was standing in front of her. What was in front of her was a man, by the name of Jamie, who refused to give her what she deserved. Instead, Farrah created a facade, making excuses for his inconsistent behavior patterns.
Although he showed himself, Farrah didn’t want to see the truth in the matter, which caused more pain in the end. Leaving her DISTRACTED!
How do you know when to give up? How did Farrah cope with the feelings of wanting what she never had in him?
Find out in the 1st entry of the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series, “Rushing to Distraction” (The Foolish Heart).
About Rushing to Distraction
Rushing to Distraction is the first entry from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series. This story goes deep inside of a heart that ignores the warning signs when potential love shows up. Immersing everything into just getting it to work out.
Farrah is driven, focused, and knows her worth until she runs into Jamie. After a long time of putting love on the back-burner, the guard quickly crumbled over this man's potential. She wasn’t asking for the romantic feelings, however, when they showed up, it was hard to let go.
Jamie knows she's wrapped around his finger; slowly drawing her in with the potential for a great love. For Farrah, her yearn for companionship blinds her to the reality that taking it slow is imperative when getting to know someone. Her goals fell by the wayside, her personal relationships faltered; all because she’s distracted by a possibility.
Will her constant attempts to make him love her fail? Or will he see her sacrifices as admirable and CHOOSE her?
Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon!
BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Rushing to Distraction HERE!
Share your story, have you ever allowed a lost love to distract you from daily life?
May is here and of course New York didn’t get the memo that the season has changed. I still have to pull out my big coat on some days, but I’ve enjoyed about a week of warm weather. Nothing wrong with a little tease for what’s to come.
As I organize this apartment to put up these big sweaters…hoping one day for good, I’m finding more favs that are a must have for me to get into the Spring Season, while we wait for the weather to catch up.
So, here’s my list to continue the #mood of Spring!
Perfume Paint (Tease).
You can’t pass up on beauty products. Especially the ones that make you feel…SEXXY! That’s where my first item comes in. Strolling through Victoria’s Secret, I run across this brush on perfume. I’ve never seen a product like this before so I HAD to get it (AND it was on sale!). Getting it home and giving it a try, I was immediately impressed with the soft brush painting on this smooth, sensual fragrance by the name of Tease. A few pumps, then painting on those sacred areas, and I’m ready to own the night!
A Memorable Vacation.
Spring season means its time to cash in on those flyer miles or collect a stamp or two on the passport. A good vacay can ease you into a new season by purging the woes of winter. To kick of spring, me and my girls took a trip to Cuba! YES, Cuba! We spent three days in Havana enjoying back to back sight-seeing and activities like horseback riding, salsa lesson, a tour through a tobacco and coffee farm. Even got a history lesson by visiting a coffee plantation. The restaurants had great menu choices with free fish and tasty pleasures that can only be found in Cuba.
The last leg of the trip was spent at Varadero Beach, soaking up the sun, and taking in views of gorgeous blue water. So many good memories and a great disconnect from the daily routine of work, train commutes, and social media. I returned with new inspiration and a relaxed mind. Thank you Cuba!
In the bar scene, I love trying new things. Venturing in midtown, I ran into a bar (The Ginger Man) and found a unique treat on the menu. Chocolate Beer! Otherwise known as Boulevard Chocolate Ale. Two of my favorite things mixed into one. Who knew chocolate could serve many purposes?
Spring is still in full effect and I’m ready to take on the new adventures of this season.
Be sure to share YOUR favorite things to get you through Springtime!
Dahlia Talk: Wrong Vengeance, from the Heartbreak Diaries Book Series
Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor.
In chapter one of "Wrong Vengeance", the main character, Brandy encounters the unwanted advances of a no-good man who represents everything she's trying to run from. A quick run to the convenience store, late at night, turned into a fight for demanding respect as well as driving the point of rejection home for the "Loitering Bachelor".
What is a "Loitering Bachelor"?
A single, or not so single, guy who stands outside of a store. He's lurking b/c he has nothing else better to do but get phone numbers from women who are out of his league.
Usually he's unkept, jobless, and has no ambition for success. Everyday he wakes up and leave the house just to LOITER. Waiting for a woman to be captivated by his lies, only to use her for every good thing she has.
It always happen on the days I need to run in and out the store. I don't mind saying "hello" or even giving small talk. But there's a type of man who doesn't understand the "I'm not interested" language. Sometimes I tell a white lie and say I'm taken. Then there's a follow up "Well can you have friends?". I get the persistence, however if the tables were turned, a woman would appear to be crazy or unstable. Why can't these guys take the hint. Also, things can turn violent. Men whose egos are bruised tend to call you out of your name and get aggressive. So what is a woman to do in these situations. Give out the phone number anyway? I've done that, then ignore the texts/calls. Not all men get this treatment. The ones who are polite, charming, and even funny is able to get my attention. However, these "loitering bachelors" who KNOW they have no interest in anything beyond the bedroom or using a woman tend to be pushy.
What's your Loitering Bachelor Story?
Share your "Loitering Bachelor" story in the comments below!
About Wrong Vengeance
Brandy deals with the type of man she’s grown to despise. It’s hard for her not to turn into what destroyed her emotionally. She knew better. Knew she deserved better, but love…It ends in a nearly fatal disaster. Brandy was lucky to have fled the grasp of the pain attempting to draw her back in. Moving on, life deals her a good hand in love. However, the pain of what she escaped lingers; slowly releasing the monster within. Will she allow past hurt to eliminate future happiness? A constant replay of a bad experience can kill a good thing. It’s even worse when you’re becoming the Heartbreak.
Don't have the book yet? Order your copy today! Available on MULTIPLE eBook platforms. Paperback copies exclusively available on Amazon!
BONUS! Get a sneak peek of Chapter 1: The Loitering Bachelor, from Wrong Vengeance HERE!
Don't forget to share your story below!
You have to put yourself on work restriction to replenish!
Going and going and going and more going! Does the daily work ever end? NO! But, you have to put it on pause to catch a breather. If you don’t, your body will remind you why rest is needed.
I wake up, lay in bed to think about the million things I have to do for the day. Then, OH I’m running late! Shower time, find an outfit. It’s cold out so I need to layer up. Where’s my gloves? Found them. Do I have my keys? Already packed them. Wait…Metro card!
Out the door and on to the awesome MTA Subway ride. Fighting for a seat, or even a space, is a tiresome task in itself, but the joys of reaching my destination helps to forget about the commute aggravation.
On the to office to update websites and do a little writing/editing work in between. AND managing the magazine, answering emails. Lunch time, gotta get back on the train to hit an audition. Back to the office to finish the day.
Then, evening rush hour. Another fight on the train. Wait, I have to eat. Do I have food at the house? Nope, forgot to go grocery shopping. Stand in a long line with other annoyed 9-5ers with kids running around. Uggh I just want to go home!
Time for winding down? Absolutely NOT, gotta hit the computer to finish the tasks set for the day. Of course, here comes a curve ball….This goes on until about 3AM and get a few hours of sleep before its time to wake up and do it all over again.
Who can manage a healthy life with all of this?!?! I know I can’t. However, my body stepped in, and took control. Control in the sense of shutting down. Fatigue, headaches, stomach pains, and even a little memory loss. Feeling overwhelmed and tired before I could get out of bed, was the body’s way of saying…Chick, you’ve GOT to slow down and take care of me. I do my Self-Care Sundays…okay I’ll admit I’ve slacked off.
All of this to say, when you’re going 500 miles a minute, you can’t make this a daily habit. To remedy the results of burnout, I have to readjust my time management. Along with sneaking in some self-care and yoga/meditation in between to silence my mind. I have many things on my plate (not complaining, I LOVE it), but I am in my 30s, and no normal human can unction like this without properly resting.
Here’s a few ideas to kick-back and relax the mind and body:
(Yes, I need to take my own advice. Let’s do this together!)
Watch a funny show or movie. Laughter IS the best medicine. It releases the pains of whatever has “grinded your gears”; clearing the mind of bad thoughts. Laughing out loud can help cure any bad day. My shows of choice, Frasier, Schitt’s Creek, Paternity Court (they have hilarious episodes), Golden Girls, and just about any reality show you can find!
Rest in Silence. Turn off your TV, phone, computer, and your MIND. Stop thinking so much. I tend to overthink EVERYTHING. Creating outlandish scenarios that never happens all because of past experiences, or just my mind running away from me. Thinking too much causes stress, and doesn’t help when you need to focus on work. Just calm down and into space for a few minutes.
Self-Care. Soak your feet in Epsom salt to release the toxins of traveling through the city by foot, or give yourself a much needed facial. Anything that will take care of your body. Pampering yourself is a good key in relaxing. Take care of your body, and it’ll take care of you.
Don’t allow others to pressure you to rush. Yes deadlines are important, but some things can wait. Just because the other party is on a quick timeline (or like to appear go be. Honestly, they’re fumbling to get themselves together as well), doesn’t mean you have to run yourself crazy. Set up your calendar to follow-up when its convenient for you. There’s nothing wrong with a few calls going to voicemail. Prioritize what’s important, and what can wait until you’ve had time to clear your mind.
Limit your time on “the media”. Whether you know it or not, social media kills your expectations and goals for yourself. By constantly scrolling through other’s success stories or tales of having it all together, you feel the pressure of not working hard enough. I read a good meme once, it said: “Don’t let the internet rush you.” Newsflash, nobody has it all together. So what if they’ve accomplished a goal that you’re working towards. Their shine doesn’t dim your light, nor take away from your final destination. YOU WILL GET THERE ON YOUR TIME! Also, scrolling through timelines, only takes away from your own working hours and relaxation time.
Breathe. Take deep breaths in, and slowly exhale.
Ask yourself, did you RELAX today?
It’s important to take time and pay homage to those who have gone before us.
The writers who have broken down barriers, inspired us, and opened doors for future writers. We all know of the GREATS, Zora Neale Hurston (my Soror!), Toni Morrison, and James Baldwin (just to name a few). However, I’ve been blessed with live within a time where a surge of black fiction writers created and released great works!
One of my fav authors, Eric Jerome Dickey tells a story like no other. His creative genius has pumped book lovers to dive into his world of love, lust, suspense, mystery and so much more. An author of my generation, I'm fortunate to have been able to experience his genius release and release.
Writing short stories weren't enough for Dickey, and I'm glad b/c a few pages from him would not be enough. Me and other fans of his work would def been left wanting more.
"I'd set out to do a ten-page story and it would go on for three hundred pages."
It took him three years of writing and sending query letters until he found an agent. The blessings of his door opening was a blessing for us as well. We were introduced to one of the greatest urban fiction writers of our time.
My all time favorite book is Chasing Destiny. I remember going to the bookstore in college and finding that new release; excited about what visual ride Dickey was going to take me on. Many book releases later, this New York Times Best Selling Author is continuing to give more than just a read, his words ensures a great experience.
So lets take time to salute this great writer, whose words have entertained, inspired, and taken us on a fantastic journey.
Thank you Eric Jerome Dickey!
Share Your Favorite Black Fiction Writer(s) Below!!!
"I just like to write and create stuff. These are the diaries of how I'm living in NYC with sprinkles of life lessons I've learned along the way!"
- The Blakk Dahlia